I forgot to mention that on November 20th, the Stake President sent our missionary paperwork to Salt Lake City. For senior missionaries the process takes about 5-6 weeks. So we will not expect to hear anything until about the first of the year. Apparently, they send the couple's info around to all the sections that need senior couples- military, humanitarian, education, public affairs, office couples... to see if we have skill sets they need. Then it goes to the apostle who looks at the list of requests and makes a decision. Since we're happy to go wherever the Lord wants us to... I'm fine with that. I'm just anxious to know where we'll be going.
I worked on writing this week.... to make up for my lack of work over Thanksgiving. My two main projects are a 10 email series for Eagle Publications, a financial newsletter; and a long sales promo package for Chad Walker, a new guy trying to move into the financial newsletter space. I got some work done on both of them.
Chad's promo I'd done a lot on and sent it off to my a friend to copy-chief it. She reviewed it. We had a phone call... and basically I need to change it all. But I'm okay with that. I think the revision will be much better.
I was also asked to do a little revision on the financial book I'd finished months ago. It's still in the production process. Deborah is doing more copy editing. And they keep adding more things for her to look for as she edits.
We had a monster wind blow through about two weeks ago. It completely blew the metal awning type roof off of the tractor shed. It landed intact in the next field. Well... mostly intact. A few dings worse for wear. Tom and Katie and Aaron carried it back to the correct field and Tom started on rebuilding the support structure. The last supports were a leeetle bit too close. As in... the tractor clobbered one support already.
So Tom moved them out a few feet and nailed 4x4 support beams across the top. On Saturday, the cow people came over-- the father and two teen boys. Together we hoisted the awning back up over the top of the support beams and slid it into place. This time we'll use metal brackets and other fastners to secure it to the beams and wall.
They had a half dozen round hay bails delivered as well, and I thought they could go into the barn. So Tom cleaned it out a bit-- organizing the wood and other odds and ends we collected in the barn-- and they rolled the bales into the barn. It looks much nicer outside now.
Thursday we invited a new family in our ward over for dinner. Their last name is Tobler... as in chocolate. How could we not invite them. Their family line comes from Switzerland, too. They have two little girls 4 and 14 months. It was kind of a lively dinner and fun to get to know them.
Friday we did our sort-of-annual housing inspection. We went to all our rentals, plus Adam's, Deborah's, and Rebecca's to check them out. We ask if they have any problems- leaks, electrical outlets not working... etc. We see if they've added more or unauthorized pets or people to their houses and how clean things are. Does the yard need raking? Most all of them were pretty good, except one of Rebecca's tenants was filthy. Fortunately, Tom fixes the problems (there weren't many) and the property management fixes the filth and other lease discrepancies.
We got back home in time for our new washing machine delivery. Tom had moved the old one out Thursday night. So the delivery people got to shoe-horn the new one in. It's taller and longer, but fortunately no wider... so it fit into the slot.
Later in the afternoon, we went to see the Justice League movie. It was entertaining.
Saturday, in addition to the awning work, we cleaned out the chicken coop, trimmed bushes in the front garden, and got the front area ready for winter. The neatly trimmed bushes look refreshingly precise and clipped.
Sunday we had a lovely fast and testimony meeting. In Relief Society they introduced the new lesson format we will follow after the first of the year. I think it will be a great change. After the meeting block, we met with the Self-Reliance Initiative leader from Tulsa area as well as the Stake leader. We had some Q and A. Then back at 4 pm for our next to last Self Reliance class. In the evening will be the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. That is always a delight.
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Nauvoo Thanksgiving
This has been a fun
and busy week. Aaron and Katie came to visit us on Saturday. They helped make
cookies… because Tom is the cookie man for Stake Conference. He has people he
hands out cookies to. It’s a tradition, and he loves it. He makes Gluten Free
cookies for a few that need them and regular cookies for other families.
Saturday afternoon and
Sunday were taken up with Stake Conference. There I was officially released,
again, from my calling as Stake Relief Society President. I also had a chance
to visit with the new president.
Monday Tom put the
kids to work. They did a massive leaf clean-up. I had been complaining about
all the leaves in the yard. When you have big, lovely trees… you also end up
with a thick mat of leaves in the fall. Tom wanted to wait until all the leaves
dropped before shredding/raking them. We had some terrific winds that did a
good job of de-leafing most of the trees. Katie ran the mower and mulched many
of the leaves. Tom and Aaron raked them onto tarps and dragged them to the
garden for mulch. Some got burned on piles.
Tom and Katie also
took the tractor around and cut off low lying limbs from the trees. Katie
handled the tractor while Tom worked the chain saw. This means Katie lifted Tom
up in the bucket to the height that he could cut the branches. She did a good
job.
Then Aaron was the
fire guard. One pile had several outer piles so that when the center one burned
down, the other piles could be pushed in. Alas, the heat of the center fire ignited
the outer ring of brush as well. Aaron ran for help and with the tractor and
three of them, they managed to contain the fire. Not too much pasture went up
in flames….
Speaking of pasture,
the cows seem to be staying in the West pasture, even though it doesn’t have
good fencing in the back. It just has woods, puny fence, and more woods. I
guess the woods don’t seem attractive to the cows.
They also made pies,
cookies, and muffins for our Thanksgiving. Wednesday morning we drove to
Nauvoo. Well, actually it took most of Wednesday. Kera had rented a house right
on the Mississippi river. It was fun to look out across the river for the
sunsets and to see the many faces of the river. At times it was smooth as a
blanket. Then on the windy day, there were whitecaps and waves. The next
morning, it just had a series of gullies. I didn’t know water could change like
that.
We also had some resident
bald eagles in the trees on our way to Old Nauvoo. We stopped to take pictures
many times. Our eyes, however, could see better than our cameras could.
It is amazing to see 70+ year olds singing and dancing and courting. What I like about the play is that there is enough going on that even the little kids are engaged. Throughout the play there is a nagging wife who never lets her husband get a word in edgewise. Shortly before the doctor comes to visit, he acts a bit crazy. When the wife reports it to the doctor, he acts just fine… and the doctor hauls her off for rest and evaluation… and the husband plops down with his feet up and a big grin. One little kid from the audience called out, “You’re naughty!”
Thursday we rode the oxen wagon, viewed videos at the visitor’s center, wandered around Old Nauvoo, and came back in time to heat dinner.
The smoked turkey was pre-cooked, as was the ham, yams, potatoes, etc. We brought pies. Miranda and Kera made some there the evening before. So it wasn’t long until we had a wonderfully tasty Thanksgiving dinner served. We played games that evening.
Friday everyone went to the temple. Katie and Aaron took a bunch of names and did baptisms. Tom, David, and Dan helped. Andy and I went on a session. As the baptismal group got out, they took over kid sitting of the kids who were enjoying being at the temple outside. Then Kera and Miranda went to the temple. We took the kids and went sightseeing while they were in the temple. Little Rachael did very well while Mom was not there.
We went to the old post office, the gun smith shop, the brick yard and the blacksmith shop. We saw the drug store, the boot factory, Lucy Mack Smith’s house, and the Nauvoo house and the graveyard where the Smiths are buried. In the afternoon we went to Carthage Jail and took a tour. The grandkids were really good and interested in each place.
Friday we came home and porked out on left-overs. Miranda had planned another dinner, but there was so much left over, we just heated it and ate! Oh! It was just as good on day 2. Again, we played games in the evening. We also might have watched a Christmas movie or two.
Saturday we packed and
headed back home. I had brought a computer, thinking I might do a little work,
but the internet didn’t work well…or at all… in the house. Dan and David went
next door to get some Wi-Fi. But I just checked the phone for email messages. I
did ask Dan for help finding a good next lap-top computer… and ordered that on
his cell phone.
We stopped for more
pictures at the temple and more of bald eagles on our way out of Nauvoo. We
also got some pictures of the horse drawn wagon. We went home a different way.
I don’t know that it was faster, but the roads were better, I think. We got
home just after dark and we were all pretty tired, in spite of the fact that
most of us slept some in the car.
Sunday we had
missionary talks for sacrament meeting. One new convert shared how the gospel
changed his life. “I was one of the walking dead,” he said. Without purpose,
not knowing why he was here or what he was supposed to do. He fell among bad
company. The gospel just made a huge difference. He is still working to change
ingrained habits, and it has been exciting to see his transformation. Also,
Carolyn, the new Stake Relief Society President came to our ward looking to
meet people who might be good choices for counselors. So it was fun to tell her
who everyone was. And a bit embarrassing as their names occasionally eluded me.
In the afternoon we
are on our 9th Self Reliance lesson. It’s been a good class. I love
how it blends spiritual and temporal.
Sunday, November 19, 2017
Moving on
Monday we had a nice time at Jonathan's. Tom helped them install a
light under the barn shed roof. in the morning while I worked. Then in the
afternoon we all went out and worked on putting guttering across the shed part
of the barn so rainwater wouldn't just keep the ground soggy.
It was made more difficult
because the metal roof overhang changed dimension from about 1/2 inch (ideal
for gutter) to about 2 inches... not so good for the gutter. So we made first
1" wood shims, then 2" wood shims to get the gutter out far enough to
catch the water. The second problem was the that wood trim below the roof line
angled. It wasn't 90 degrees. So the gutter ended up angling down a little. It
should catch most of the water.... but in a torrential downpour, it's likely to
overshoot the gutter. Later we talked with someone who recommended a 6"
wide gutter instead of the 4" we put up.
In the evening, a sweet sister
who'd lived in Mountain Home and her friend came over to visit and pick up two
boxes of things we'd stored in our barn for her for about 4 years. It was nice
to see her and encourage her. Jonathan and Kristy were kind enough to invite
them to dinner so we had more time to visit.
Tuesday Tom and Kristy worked
on a few more projects. I got to see the play house that they'd refurbished and
it looked very nice. It was a bit drizzly, but we still managed to get a
truckbed load of aged manure from their small corral. Our garden appreciates
it.
We left about 1 pm, stopped in
Springfield for an Andy's frozen yogurt snack and in Branson, MO to buy some
jeans for Tom. We also looked for some Christmas gifts for the family we have
for Christmas this year. We needed to beat feet home in time for a 7 pm
meeting. We just made it.
Again, our friend John came
over to have a gospel discussion. This time we talked about the Holy Spirit.
John is unsure of the spirit's roll, what it actually is, and how it performs
its mission. Not sure he knew a whole lot more after the discussion, but he
seems to appreciate them.
We've decided to take a train
trip to California before we go on our mission. So we scheduled a time in
January and bought tickets. We are also going to meet up with Adam and Savannah
and go to Disneyland with them for a few days. Savannah is the Disney queen and
knows all things Disney, so that part of the vacation is in her hands. She did
learn that we could get tickets through the military for up to six people (we
needed 7 tickets) So I spend several days calling around to see where I needed
to go and what I needed to do. We thought we might have to go to Ft. Leonard
Wood to pick up the tickets in person... but they couldn't get online to tell
us more. Finally I went on line, checked around, called Camp Pendleton... and
they fedexed the tickets overnight and we have them in hand!
Wednesday I went visiting
teaching and I worked on the talk I was assigned for Sunday for Stake
Conference on "How I serve the Savior as I serve others." Tom had Young
Men's in the evening and I had a writer's critique group and a crypto webinar
to listen to.
Thursday was a little of this
and that. Lots of leaves on the ground. We had previously dumped the manure on
the garden in wheelbarrow load piles... and the chickens quickly scratched them
level. Nice to know they are good for something as they are laying fewer eggs.
In the evening we went to our Family History sponsored Native American Indian
night. We had dinner made from native America recipes. We had rice stuffed
pumpkin, venison/berry soup and fry bread. We learned about so many tribes and
where they lived. We learned some of their suffering on the trail of tears.
We had been looking at washing
machines. Ours was making some unorthodox sounds and at times sounded a little
bit like a rock tumbler. We decided it was better to buy during the sale times
than to wait until it conked and we needed to make an immediate decision. It
was so confusing to try to figure out what was the BEST choice that we asked
Kristy to give us an early Christmas present by researching and sending us a
spread sheet. It was very helpful. Then we had to look at what was available
and on sale at this time. I'm hopeful that we made a good choice. It will
arrive after Thanksgiving.
Friday afternoon we went to the
movies and saw Murder on the Orient Express. We enjoyed it. We tried to get to
bed early since Saturday was a big day for Tom.
He had been preparing for this
5k. It was a big run with about 700 people in it. Some were doing marathons--
it was a qualifier for the Boston Marathon. Others were doing 1/2 marathons and
about 119 were 5k. We were more prepared for this race this year. Tom picked up
his packet on Friday night so he just had to show up at the start. I drove to
the finish. He did a great job with his race. It was just a little over 28
minutes or 6 minute miles. He was pleased with his time and effort.
On Saturday afternoon, Katie
and Aaron came up to work. They helped Tom make cookies. Then Tom went off to a
Saturday afternoon leadership meeting. Aaron, Katie and I came up later,
shopped at Aldi's and went to the evening adult session. After the session we
had an interview with the Stake President for our Mission. Apparently he
doesn't yet have all the information he needs from our Bishop. Once that comes
in, then he can send the material on to Salt Lake city.
We returned to West Plains on
Sunday for the morning session of Stake Conference. I spoke in Stake Conference and there were some other really good talks. One said that when
we draw closer to the Savior we gain the light of Christ in our lives and it
makes it easier for us to share the gospel with others.
We came home in time for Tom
and I to go to our Self-Reliant classes. This evening Deborah and children came
to visit.
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Cows
You know how something starts out sounding like a good idea.... and then... Well, we have a church friend who has some cows. He lives in town. So the bottle fed calf lived in town for a while too. But as it grew up, it needed a bigger home.
They moved the calf and another cow or two down to a friends house about 45 miles away. The little critter kept escaping and the guy kept fixing the fence. His health is not too good, and the wife was not pleased with all this activity.
They wanted to move the cows closer to home. And we have all this pasture... But we only had the pond pasture that we thought was secure enough. The back perimeter fence is pretty old and feeble. So the cows came home to roost a couple of weeks ago... while I was out at Mom's. I heard some tales about fence jumping. The day after I came home, the neighbor called. "We have a cow in our yard."
Gaak. So I get a pail and put grain in it and trek across the street to the pasture surrounding the neighbor... and sure enough, there's Stormy munching away. Fortunately the cows are pretty people friendly. I rattled the bucket and she followed me home.
But still, the critters were getting into the east pasture, the west pasture... who knows where. They spent some time at Crawfords, the guys with a big spread of cattle behind us. I don't know if they were in heat and seeking a bull, lonely for their old owner who treated them like pets, or just eager to see what's on the other side of the fence.
We opened the gate to the east pasture because there really wasn't much grass in the pond pasture... although they had a round bale of hay there. Still, they managed to slip through to the west pasture. If one went to the west pasture, the others wanted to follow. We were out working, turned our back on Charlie, the mom... and zoom. she went into the west pasture.
We'd done some fencing in the back and had 4' rolled fencing to put up. Friday and Saturday Tom and I tackled the fence. We stretched it with the tractor, but we needed to take out a few saplings to get the tractor in. It actually went faster than I thought it would. Saturday we got the fence up to the cross-fence and just a little beyond. Then Tom went off to Super Saturday.
I was super excited to see that the cows stayed in the east pasture. It's been over 24 hours and no escapees.
I'd ordered glasses and had them sent to Mom's. I used them there-- they were for computer and reading... but they just weren't right. So Monday I went back to the Optometrist and had them check them out. I'd ordered them from Zenni... and online source.. and they are transition ones, so the prescription needs to be in the exact place.
They also checked my eyes again to insure the prescription was correct. I went back to Zenni. They were very nice. They said I'd put an incorrect number into the prescription space, but they volunteered to give me 100% credit. I sent the glasses back, and when they get them, they'll give me credit to reorder.
Monday night we had Empty Nesters. We were in charge. I can't say we did a lot of prep work, but it went okay. We did some getting to know you better activities.
Tuesday I got my hair cut. I had talked to a financial publishing house about a kind of complex job and he wanted me to give him an outline of what I planned and a cost for the job. I was unsure what to charge, so I sent out a message to my copywriting group. They were very supportive with ideas and thoughts. I actually called two friend who are working in that area, and they were very kind as well to give insight and support. I came up with what I thought was a fair price, and he didn't quibble at all. So that was great! Of course he has to check it out with his boss.... but I think it will work out.
Now I just need to finish the long sales copy I'm working on now. I feel like I'm slogging through it. It's not easy. Unless the end turns out to be fantastic and vibrant, I'm thinking I'm not doing a 20 page sales letter again.
We had a happy squash plant that blessed us with nearly two dozen pumpkin-sized squash. We gave 6 or so away at Family Home Evening. I cooked two of them up in my instant pot and made squash soup with some of it. It was actually quite tasty and made me feel virtuous. Only 16 more squash to go....
I had bought upholstery fabric while I was out at mom's for the "giraffe" chair we'd gotten from yer several years ago. The fabric was wearing thin. I really didn't want to do the work... especially since we HAVE to do the upholstery on the settee from Aunt Ruth. So I was pleased when I went to the upholsterer and asked the cost to do it and it was reasonable. Yeah!
Friday we had the missionaries to dinner. Saturday Tom went to West Plains for a youth activity.
I was looking for an old email and went diving into my sent email file. It was fascinating to see what I was thinking about and doing a year ago. Wow! So much done and forgotten about.
They moved the calf and another cow or two down to a friends house about 45 miles away. The little critter kept escaping and the guy kept fixing the fence. His health is not too good, and the wife was not pleased with all this activity.
They wanted to move the cows closer to home. And we have all this pasture... But we only had the pond pasture that we thought was secure enough. The back perimeter fence is pretty old and feeble. So the cows came home to roost a couple of weeks ago... while I was out at Mom's. I heard some tales about fence jumping. The day after I came home, the neighbor called. "We have a cow in our yard."
Gaak. So I get a pail and put grain in it and trek across the street to the pasture surrounding the neighbor... and sure enough, there's Stormy munching away. Fortunately the cows are pretty people friendly. I rattled the bucket and she followed me home.
But still, the critters were getting into the east pasture, the west pasture... who knows where. They spent some time at Crawfords, the guys with a big spread of cattle behind us. I don't know if they were in heat and seeking a bull, lonely for their old owner who treated them like pets, or just eager to see what's on the other side of the fence.
We opened the gate to the east pasture because there really wasn't much grass in the pond pasture... although they had a round bale of hay there. Still, they managed to slip through to the west pasture. If one went to the west pasture, the others wanted to follow. We were out working, turned our back on Charlie, the mom... and zoom. she went into the west pasture.
We'd done some fencing in the back and had 4' rolled fencing to put up. Friday and Saturday Tom and I tackled the fence. We stretched it with the tractor, but we needed to take out a few saplings to get the tractor in. It actually went faster than I thought it would. Saturday we got the fence up to the cross-fence and just a little beyond. Then Tom went off to Super Saturday.
I was super excited to see that the cows stayed in the east pasture. It's been over 24 hours and no escapees.
I'd ordered glasses and had them sent to Mom's. I used them there-- they were for computer and reading... but they just weren't right. So Monday I went back to the Optometrist and had them check them out. I'd ordered them from Zenni... and online source.. and they are transition ones, so the prescription needs to be in the exact place.
They also checked my eyes again to insure the prescription was correct. I went back to Zenni. They were very nice. They said I'd put an incorrect number into the prescription space, but they volunteered to give me 100% credit. I sent the glasses back, and when they get them, they'll give me credit to reorder.
Monday night we had Empty Nesters. We were in charge. I can't say we did a lot of prep work, but it went okay. We did some getting to know you better activities.
Tuesday I got my hair cut. I had talked to a financial publishing house about a kind of complex job and he wanted me to give him an outline of what I planned and a cost for the job. I was unsure what to charge, so I sent out a message to my copywriting group. They were very supportive with ideas and thoughts. I actually called two friend who are working in that area, and they were very kind as well to give insight and support. I came up with what I thought was a fair price, and he didn't quibble at all. So that was great! Of course he has to check it out with his boss.... but I think it will work out.
Now I just need to finish the long sales copy I'm working on now. I feel like I'm slogging through it. It's not easy. Unless the end turns out to be fantastic and vibrant, I'm thinking I'm not doing a 20 page sales letter again.
We had a happy squash plant that blessed us with nearly two dozen pumpkin-sized squash. We gave 6 or so away at Family Home Evening. I cooked two of them up in my instant pot and made squash soup with some of it. It was actually quite tasty and made me feel virtuous. Only 16 more squash to go....
I had bought upholstery fabric while I was out at mom's for the "giraffe" chair we'd gotten from yer several years ago. The fabric was wearing thin. I really didn't want to do the work... especially since we HAVE to do the upholstery on the settee from Aunt Ruth. So I was pleased when I went to the upholsterer and asked the cost to do it and it was reasonable. Yeah!
Friday we had the missionaries to dinner. Saturday Tom went to West Plains for a youth activity.
I was looking for an old email and went diving into my sent email file. It was fascinating to see what I was thinking about and doing a year ago. Wow! So much done and forgotten about.
Monday, November 6, 2017
Week at Mom's
I had such a nice time at Mom's house. She continued to gain strength to the point that she went back to doing exercises and having a physical therapist come into the home.
Monday we went out to lunch with Cynthia and Regina-- Mom's old upstairs neighbor. We went to this lovely restaurant right on the beach in Laguna Beach. Our table was at the window so we looked over a rose garden to see people walking on a cobbled walk. Then it dropped off to the beach and ocean.
It was a bit overcast and drizzly,which was great for Mom since she didn't have to deal with any glare.
Tuesday I had a call with Eagle Publishing and am working on a proposal for some emails and sales material for them. I think I will enjoy this work.
Cynthia and I went out to get material for strings to hold mom's alert button... so she can be color coordinated with her medical alert necklace and the rest of her attire. Cynthia had a lovely "Adam's Family" dress to try on at the alterations place. It was stunning. They marked it for hemming. Then we went to a wonderful nursery near the Newport Beach Temple. They had every plant imaginable and some wonderful fountains of polished stone with water bubbling out the top and running down the sides. I loved this hanging garden on the side of one of the kiosks.
Monday we went out to lunch with Cynthia and Regina-- Mom's old upstairs neighbor. We went to this lovely restaurant right on the beach in Laguna Beach. Our table was at the window so we looked over a rose garden to see people walking on a cobbled walk. Then it dropped off to the beach and ocean.
It was a bit overcast and drizzly,which was great for Mom since she didn't have to deal with any glare.
Tuesday I had a call with Eagle Publishing and am working on a proposal for some emails and sales material for them. I think I will enjoy this work.
Cynthia and I went out to get material for strings to hold mom's alert button... so she can be color coordinated with her medical alert necklace and the rest of her attire. Cynthia had a lovely "Adam's Family" dress to try on at the alterations place. It was stunning. They marked it for hemming. Then we went to a wonderful nursery near the Newport Beach Temple. They had every plant imaginable and some wonderful fountains of polished stone with water bubbling out the top and running down the sides. I loved this hanging garden on the side of one of the kiosks.
It looked like they filled canvas bags with dirt and then put the plants in the "pocket." I could have bought a bag for $50. Slightly tempted.
Wednesday I listened to a webinar on line. Mom and I went through some financial things and then we did a bit of shopping and went out to dinner with Cynthia and Jim. Mom was imagining the little fish place just down the road, but Cynthia... the driver... was thinking mom meant a place further away in Tustin. Fishbone. Or BoneFish... I think. Anyway, I had a salmon salad and it was delicious!
Then I came home and packed for my trip the next day. I was very proud of myself for getting everything in the suitcase... including 3 yards of upholstery material. I rolled everything!
It was fun on Thursday. I got up... and I didn't have anything to do until Cynthia came for me about 11am. So mom and I visited and I made a lunch. I used some of the delicious bread Cynthia had made for our Walter Jr. Farewell on Sunday past.
At the airport and on the plane I worked on finishing reviewing the notes I took at Bootcamp. It was a good refresher. I had expected it to be chilly in Arkansas... but it was warmer than California! Tom met me at the airport and we drove to Conway and spent the night. Then we continued on home on Friday.
My friend Marian, the potter, has a husband who does forge work. I'd mentioned I'd love to have a dutch oven stand made from horse shoes. So he made one for me! The feet are from an ammo train track spikes, so it has a kind of history. (He also does ordinance disposal, so I guess he's around old ammo train tracks at times.) We stopped and picked that up on the way home.
We also went by the house that Tom spent the past week painting. It looks much nicer... but the new paint makes the roof look a bit older now. I spend the rest of the day and most of Saturday unpacking and getting reoriented to the house-- catching up on mail, visiting with cats and chickens. Meeting the cows, transferring documents from laptop to home computer.
Sunday we had a regional conference. Everyone from California through Texas participated in this conference. There was talk about the hurricane and the help that came from members around the area. There was some talk of the California fires. But I don't know how much assistance people needed out there.
We had a long choir practice and the self-reliance class in the afternoon. Tom went to West Plains for a meeting. And we submitted our mission paperwork. Next step: interview with the stake president. Then our paperwork will be on the way to Salt Lake City.
It's been a good week. I loved visiting mom and hated to leave. And yet, it's nice to be home with Tom.
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Accountability loop
While I was at a
writer’s conference I learned this really cool thing I want to share with you.
This is from Annie Hyman Pratt, a coach and public speaker.
We are hard-wired to
live in the victim loop. It’s just natural. When we have a situation we don’t
like or are uncomfortable with we first ignore
it. (Maybe it will go away.) When that doesn’t work we deny we really have a problem. (It’s not that bad.) But when we
have to face that we really have a problem we blame others. (It’s not my fault… or if it is my fault, it’s really
that I ran out of time, or I didn’t understand, or I got too busy… so it’s
really not my fault.)
Then we rationalize— that means we dig in and
get totally vested in blaming. Then we resist.
We just don’t want to deal with the problem. And finally we hide. We delve into Facebook, don’t
answer the phone, sleep. Or hide in our room.
These are natural ways
to deal with problems. But they are ineffective. They don’t solve the problem…
indeed. It makes it worse for you and those around you.
We know we will find
ourselves in the victim loop. But as soon as we do, we can take steps to move
into the Accountability loop. One if the first steps is to recognize. We recognize we’re in the victim loop and/or we
recognize we have a problem
The next step is to own our part of the problem. Even if
someone did something to us, we still can take ownership of how we respond or
what our next steps will be. We can own that we have a part to play in the
solution. We can own our feelings. (I’m afraid, or I’m feeling defensive.) We
can own our need to call out the problem: “Here’s the challenge that I see.”
The next step is to
apply forgiveness. We all make
mistakes- us and others. Forgive ourselves and others… give grace and
compassion. We need to get to neutral— not anger, fear, etc. Whatever happened,
happened. It’s now in the past. Get over judgement, anger, emotions and move
on.
Self-examination is your consideration of your role in getting
a better outcome. How can you help others make good choices?
Learn. Sometimes you have to learn more information
or figure out your part in finding the best action to a good outcome. Then take the action.
Taking ownership
(accountability loop) gets results. You have a different mindset- one that
looks for solutions, and you have a structure to support your decisions. It
requires a change of behavior on your part… but also on the part of other
people involved in the problem.
I love how this
business woman talked about forgiveness as an essential part of being
accountable.
So often, we have
similar goals. We start out in agreement of what we think a good outcome is. If
not, part of learning may be to find out what you or others think is a good
outcome.
Then your actions
address the changes needed to make that outcome happen.
She had a great “non-blame”
way to address problems. Say for example the deadline for copy is on Tuesday. Or
the goal is to have a happy family.
1. Start with what changed. (We agreed revisions would be over on Friday
and on Monday you gave me new changes. Or you said you’d be kind to your
brother and now you’re teasing him.)
2. Articulate how the change created a
challenge to achieve the desire outcome. (The GAP + the Impact.) (You want the final copy on Tuesday but it will
take me two days to incorporate your revisions. Or Our goal is to have a loving
family and teasing makes that impossible.)
3. Offer solutions, adjustments and potential
changes to reach the desired outcome.
(We could push the
final copy due date back to Wednesday and still have an excellent report. Or You
might apologize to your brother or do something kind for him to restore harmony
in the home.)
4. Ask for their ideas for solutions,
adjustments and potential changes to reach the desired outcome. They might have different or better ideas.
5. Then discuss it and negotiate to reach a new
agreement to achieve the desired outcome.
Can you think of a
problem you’ve had recently… either of your own making (late to work or school)
or someone else’s making (they stole from you or didn’t keep their word.) Go
through the steps and see how you responded. Were you a victim? Go through it
again and see how you might be able to change things around by moving to the
accountability loop. I’d love it if you’d think about this and work at it for a
week and then report back how it worked for you. Will you do that?
Sunday, October 29, 2017
To my writing bootcamp and to Mom's
This is a two-week letter.
Monday October 16th Tom drove me to Little
Rock and I caught a flight to my Writer’s conference. The flight was pretty
uneventful… which is a good thing. I had a close connection, so I really
hustled from one side of the Atlanta airport to the other. It was with great
sadness that I had to rush past Five Guys without stopping for a burger.
Then for the first time I tried Uber. It was a little
confusing. For some reason, they called an Uber LX, which was larger and more
expensive. I asked the guy what to do… and he grumbled just a little bit and
said he’d take me for the lower fare. So I gave him a nice tip.
My sweet brother Steve used his Marriott Gold status
to get me concierge status. So I could go to the concierge lounge for breakfast
and a light supper… and chocolate chip cookies. (but they weren’t as good as
Tom’s.)
Tuesday, I had a pre-conference women’s event from 9am
to 5pm. It was very insightful and on personal growth as much as how to
copywrite.
I had an article I wanted to get done for a new
client. She seemed pretty demanding and a little condescending, but I thought
I’d give her another article and another effort to see if thing might improve.
I worked on that on and off, and had some of my copywriting friends critique
it.
My roommate was from San Diego and a very easy person
to room with. She takes her church- The Christian Scientists- to the Marine
recruits at San Diego and loves it! So we had that in common as Tom and I had
done that at Ft. Benning.
The conference was excellent as usual. It was fun to
see so many friends there and see people that were beginning when I first came
now moving up and gaining prestigious awards. I had lunch with a writer there
for the first time- a nice young girl—maybe early 20’s and her sister, a
graphic artist. It was delightful to see her win a spec challenge the next day! I ran across Clayton Makepeace several times (see photo below) and he graciously gave me some advice on the promo I'm working on.
I was supposed to meet with Wayne from Eagle
Publishing. I’d worked with him on a little project years ago. And at that
time, he was only interested in long form sales letters. I decided I really
don’t like doing those. So I wasn’t sure we’d have much to talk about. But I
finally met up with him at Job Fair and he was eager to have me work on some
reports, follow-ups and other shorter pieces! Several other job fair booths
also seemed interested. I sent out samples and we’ll see where it goes.
It rained off and on while I was there. It didn’t much
matter because I was staying in the hotel where the event was. However one
morning I decided to go to the beach for the 7am meditation. As I stepped on
the beach I felt a few scattered drops. As we began, the drizzle increased to a
gentle rain. At first I was thinking, “Oh, I’m one with nature. I can enjoy the
rain.” But the rain didn’t let up. It increased. I finally decided I was not
meditating, I was thinking about getting wet! I picked up my mat and headed
back to the hotel, walking through the lobby looking like a drowned rat.
Fortunately, I had not worn clothes I planned to wear to the meetings. A little
blow drying, and I was ready for the day. this is the beach view from my window.
Saturday, I caught a direct flight from Florida to
LAX. I was one tired puppy by then. Up too late talking, up too early to get to
all the sessions. (Actually, this year I skipped all the 7AM sessions and just started
with the 8am ones.) The evening sessions finished about 9pm. So they were LONG
days! Which led to sleeping most of the five hours on the airplane.
Sally picked me up. And rested from my nap, I stayed
up and visited with her and Steve, far to late. We went to their church on
Sunday. Steve English had recently been released from being bishop, so he and
Sally were able to sit together. We stopped at the mortuary to look at Uncle
Otto Walter’s old desk. It’s a great piece of furniture!
In the afternoon,
we drove down to Mom’s. Cynthia and Jim came over and we had a great dinner. I love my family!
Mom had been feeling really tired and puny the week or
so before I arrived. She seems to be gaining energy. But it may be an illusion.
Perhaps she will crash after I leave. I try not to tire her out, but it’s a
balance between asking what she needs and being respectful of her decisions to
be as independent as possible.
Most of the week, I’ve been getting up about 5:30 and
working for a few hours until Mom gets up. She decided to have her aids come
even while I was here, so I got to meet Vicky and Maria. I can understand why
Mom likes Vicky better. She seems to keep busy and is more pro-active. Maria
waits to be instructed. I think perhaps she’s afraid of doing something wrong.
Monday night I went with Cynthia and Jim to the
California Club activity. Cynthia is president this year. It’s a fun group of
people who like to dance and eat. This time we had lobster and we also had
Elvis come to entertain us. He had good moves and a nice voice on the slower
songs. People dressed up—sort of a fancy Halloween theme. I wore black pants
and a spangly top. And Cynthia completed my attire with a “BOO” headband. Of course we needed a photo with Elvis. Note Cynthia's cute wich hat.
Tuesday, we went and got Mom’s hair cut. Wednesday we
went to look at fabric and see if a place could fix the saggy chair. We also
checked out microwaves, since mom needs a new, quieter one. Then we needed to
see about installation. So she called her handyman Dave. He quoted an
outrageous price for the combination of chair fixing and microwave installation:
$1150. And he wouldn’t break them apart. So I googled upholstery and furniture repair
and found a place in Santa Ana. They said they thought the chair could be fixed
without needing to be reupholstered.
Thursday Cynthia came over and we hoisted the chair
into the car and drove to Santa Ana. The guy was very nice. He thought it could
be fixed for $50, no upholstery needed. Could we pick it up tomorrow?
Friday I went to the temple. It was lovely to be in
the temple. I was able to do on endowment and two initiatory. Then I went to
Santa Ana and picked up the chair. It was firmer. He did a good job. There was
an upholstery fabric store next door to the chair guy… so I had to go in and
take a look. Did I want cow hides to upholster my car seats? Or Naugahyde? Or Ultrasuede?
I did find some lovely fabrics and one I thought would look good on the gold
chair that has deteriorating upholstery. So, I bought it. We’ll see if it will
fit into the suitcase.
I connected with some of the clients I met at bootcamp
and I have an appointment to speak with one on Monday or Tuesday. I also heard
back from the client I’d written an article for saying this article might work,
if I could fix a whole bunch of things. I’ll fix the things, but then I’m
firing her as a client. I sensed too much condescension in her email. I was invited to write a letter to my younger self for the Titanidies group. This was the photo I used with it. Man, I married well. what a cutie!
In the afternoon, Mom and I went shopping at a new
vegetable store… supposedly better than Jordan Market. It was nice. But we didn’t
buy a lot. We made up for that by going out to dinner.
Sunday Sally and Steve came down and we went to church
together. Mom and Cynthia and Jim went to church. Then we met at Cynthia’s
house and Aunt Ruth and her daughter Sherrill and husband Roger joined us for
lunch. It was a Walter Jr. Donop
commemorative meal. We spent time talking about him. Sally brought some of his memorabilia
down and shared it. He had saved every report card. He had the bill from the
hospital stay when he was born. Seven
days: $73.
We had a tasty lunch of salads and cold cuts. Jim made
his famous New York cheese cake for dessert. Afterwards, Sally came back to Mom’s
house and we talked about cryptocurrencies for a while.
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