Nauvoo Thanksgiving

This has been a fun and busy week. Aaron and Katie came to visit us on Saturday. They helped make cookies… because Tom is the cookie man for Stake Conference. He has people he hands out cookies to. It’s a tradition, and he loves it. He makes Gluten Free cookies for a few that need them and regular cookies for other families.

Saturday afternoon and Sunday were taken up with Stake Conference. There I was officially released, again, from my calling as Stake Relief Society President. I also had a chance to visit with the new president.

Monday Tom put the kids to work. They did a massive leaf clean-up. I had been complaining about all the leaves in the yard. When you have big, lovely trees… you also end up with a thick mat of leaves in the fall. Tom wanted to wait until all the leaves dropped before shredding/raking them. We had some terrific winds that did a good job of de-leafing most of the trees. Katie ran the mower and mulched many of the leaves. Tom and Aaron raked them onto tarps and dragged them to the garden for mulch. Some got burned on piles.

Tom and Katie also took the tractor around and cut off low lying limbs from the trees. Katie handled the tractor while Tom worked the chain saw. This means Katie lifted Tom up in the bucket to the height that he could cut the branches. She did a good job.

Then Aaron was the fire guard. One pile had several outer piles so that when the center one burned down, the other piles could be pushed in. Alas, the heat of the center fire ignited the outer ring of brush as well. Aaron ran for help and with the tractor and three of them, they managed to contain the fire. Not too much pasture went up in flames….

Speaking of pasture, the cows seem to be staying in the West pasture, even though it doesn’t have good fencing in the back. It just has woods, puny fence, and more woods. I guess the woods don’t seem attractive to the cows.

They also made pies, cookies, and muffins for our Thanksgiving. Wednesday morning we drove to Nauvoo. Well, actually it took most of Wednesday. Kera had rented a house right on the Mississippi river. It was fun to look out across the river for the sunsets and to see the many faces of the river. At times it was smooth as a blanket. Then on the windy day, there were whitecaps and waves. The next morning, it just had a series of gullies. I didn’t know water could change like that.

We also had some resident bald eagles in the trees on our way to Old Nauvoo. We stopped to take pictures many times. Our eyes, however, could see better than our cameras could.

 Everyone— Andy, Kera, and their 5 children; Miranda, Dan and their 4 children; Tom and I; and David, Kera and Dan’s father— all arrived by about 4:30 or 5 pm. We discovered the stove and the hot water didn’t work. Fortunately, a sweet lady who lived next door, and had built the house, came over to fix things. She mentioned that this might be the last night they performed the play, “Rendezvous in Old Nauvoo.” We didn’t have tickets, but we ate dinner quickly and all piled into cars to go to the play.

It is amazing to see 70+ year olds singing and dancing and courting. What I like about the play is that there is enough going on that even the little kids are engaged. Throughout the play there is a nagging wife who never lets her husband get a word in edgewise. Shortly before the doctor comes to visit, he acts a bit crazy. When the wife reports it to the doctor, he acts just fine… and the doctor hauls her off for rest and evaluation… and the husband plops down with his feet up and a big grin. One little kid from the audience called out, “You’re naughty!”

Thursday we rode the oxen wagon, viewed videos at the visitor’s center, wandered around Old Nauvoo, and came back in time to heat dinner. 

 Alex and Katie with the oxen

The smoked turkey was pre-cooked, as was the ham, yams, potatoes, etc. We brought pies. Miranda and Kera made some there the evening before. So it wasn’t long until we had a wonderfully tasty Thanksgiving dinner served. We played games that evening.

 The cousins played games, ran around, and generally had fun with each other. Aaron went out looking at the night sky. There were Indian mounds just up the road from us. Apparently they were burial mounds with many, many Indians buried there. The earliest dated back to 200-400AD. Aaron proclaimed the Mississippi river the River Sidon, from Book of Mormon times when great battles were fought there and many died.

Friday everyone went to the temple. Katie and Aaron took a bunch of names and did baptisms. Tom, David, and Dan helped. Andy and I went on a session. As the baptismal group got out, they took over kid sitting of the kids who were enjoying being at the temple outside. Then Kera and Miranda went to the temple. We took the kids and went sightseeing while they were in the temple. Little Rachael did very well while Mom was not there.

We went to the old post office, the gun smith shop, the brick yard and the blacksmith shop. We saw the drug store, the boot factory, Lucy Mack Smith’s house, and the Nauvoo house and the graveyard where the Smiths are buried. In the afternoon we went to Carthage Jail and took a tour. The grandkids were really good and interested in each place.

 Friday we came home and porked out on left-overs. Miranda had planned another dinner, but there was so much left over, we just heated it and ate! Oh! It was just as good on day 2. Again, we played games in the evening. We also might have watched a Christmas movie or two.

  

Saturday we packed and headed back home. I had brought a computer, thinking I might do a little work, but the internet didn’t work well…or at all… in the house. Dan and David went next door to get some Wi-Fi. But I just checked the phone for email messages. I did ask Dan for help finding a good next lap-top computer… and ordered that on his cell phone.

We stopped for more pictures at the temple and more of bald eagles on our way out of Nauvoo. We also got some pictures of the horse drawn wagon. We went home a different way. I don’t know that it was faster, but the roads were better, I think. We got home just after dark and we were all pretty tired, in spite of the fact that most of us slept some in the car.

Sunday we had missionary talks for sacrament meeting. One new convert shared how the gospel changed his life. “I was one of the walking dead,” he said. Without purpose, not knowing why he was here or what he was supposed to do. He fell among bad company. The gospel just made a huge difference. He is still working to change ingrained habits, and it has been exciting to see his transformation. Also, Carolyn, the new Stake Relief Society President came to our ward looking to meet people who might be good choices for counselors. So it was fun to tell her who everyone was. And a bit embarrassing as their names occasionally eluded me.

In the afternoon we are on our 9^th Self Reliance lesson. It’s been a good class. I love how it blends spiritual and temporal.

Moving on

Monday we had a nice time at Jonathan's. Tom helped them install a light under the barn shed roof. in the morning while I worked. Then in the afternoon we all went out and worked on putting guttering across the shed part of the barn so rainwater wouldn't just keep the ground soggy. 

It was made more difficult because the metal roof overhang changed dimension from about 1/2 inch (ideal for gutter) to about 2 inches... not so good for the gutter. So we made first 1" wood shims, then 2" wood shims to get the gutter out far enough to catch the water. The second problem was the that wood trim below the roof line angled. It wasn't 90 degrees. So the gutter ended up angling down a little. It should catch most of the water.... but in a torrential downpour, it's likely to overshoot the gutter. Later we talked with someone who recommended a 6" wide gutter instead of the 4" we put up.

In the evening, a sweet sister who'd lived in Mountain Home and her friend came over to visit and pick up two boxes of things we'd stored in our barn for her for about 4 years. It was nice to see her and encourage her. Jonathan and Kristy were kind enough to invite them to dinner so we had more time to visit.

Tuesday Tom and Kristy worked on a few more projects. I got to see the play house that they'd refurbished and it looked very nice. It was a bit drizzly, but we still managed to get a truckbed load of aged manure from their small corral. Our garden appreciates it.

We left about 1 pm, stopped in Springfield for an Andy's frozen yogurt snack and in Branson, MO to buy some jeans for Tom. We also looked for some Christmas gifts for the family we have for Christmas this year. We needed to beat feet home in time for a 7 pm meeting. We just made it.

Again, our friend John came over to have a gospel discussion. This time we talked about the Holy Spirit. John is unsure of the spirit's roll, what it actually is, and how it performs its mission. Not sure he knew a whole lot more after the discussion, but he seems to appreciate them.

We've decided to take a train trip to California before we go on our mission. So we scheduled a time in January and bought tickets. We are also going to meet up with Adam and Savannah and go to Disneyland with them for a few days. Savannah is the Disney queen and knows all things Disney, so that part of the vacation is in her hands. She did learn that we could get tickets through the military for up to six people (we needed 7 tickets) So I spend several days calling around to see where I needed to go and what I needed to do. We thought we might have to go to Ft. Leonard Wood to pick up the tickets in person... but they couldn't get online to tell us more. Finally I went on line, checked around, called Camp Pendleton... and they fedexed the tickets overnight and we have them in hand! 

Wednesday I went visiting teaching and I worked on the talk I was assigned for Sunday for Stake Conference on "How I serve the Savior as I serve others." Tom had Young Men's in the evening and I had a writer's critique group and a crypto webinar to listen to.

Thursday was a little of this and that. Lots of leaves on the ground. We had previously dumped the manure on the garden in wheelbarrow load piles... and the chickens quickly scratched them level. Nice to know they are good for something as they are laying fewer eggs. In the evening we went to our Family History sponsored Native American Indian night. We had dinner made from native America recipes. We had rice stuffed pumpkin, venison/berry soup and fry bread. We learned about so many tribes and where they lived. We learned some of their suffering on the trail of tears.

We had been looking at washing machines. Ours was making some unorthodox sounds and at times sounded a little bit like a rock tumbler. We decided it was better to buy during the sale times than to wait until it conked and we needed to make an immediate decision. It was so confusing to try to figure out what was the BEST choice that we asked Kristy to give us an early Christmas present by researching and sending us a spread sheet. It was very helpful. Then we had to look at what was available and on sale at this time. I'm hopeful that we made a good choice. It will arrive after Thanksgiving.

Friday afternoon we went to the movies and saw Murder on the Orient Express. We enjoyed it. We tried to get to bed early since Saturday was a big day for Tom.

He had been preparing for this 5k. It was a big run with about 700 people in it. Some were doing marathons-- it was a qualifier for the Boston Marathon. Others were doing 1/2 marathons and about 119 were 5k. We were more prepared for this race this year. Tom picked up his packet on Friday night so he just had to show up at the start. I drove to the finish. He did a great job with his race. It was just a little over 28 minutes or 6 minute miles. He was pleased with his time and effort.

On Saturday afternoon, Katie and Aaron came up to work. They helped Tom make cookies. Then Tom went off to a Saturday afternoon leadership meeting. Aaron, Katie and I came up later, shopped at Aldi's and went to the evening adult session. After the session we had an interview with the Stake President for our Mission. Apparently he doesn't yet have all the information he needs from our Bishop. Once that comes in, then he can send the material on to Salt Lake city.

We returned to West Plains on Sunday for the morning session of Stake Conference. I spoke in Stake Conference and there were some other really good talks. One said that when we draw closer to the Savior we gain the light of Christ in our lives and it makes it easier for us to share the gospel with others. 

We came home in time for Tom and I to go to our Self-Reliant classes. This evening Deborah and children came to visit.

Cows

You know how something starts out sounding like a good idea.... and then...  Well, we have a church friend who has some cows.  He lives in town. So the bottle fed calf lived in town for a while too. But as it grew up, it needed a bigger home.

They moved the calf and another cow or two down to a friends house about 45 miles away.  The little critter kept escaping and the guy kept fixing the fence.  His health is not too good, and the wife was not pleased with all this activity.

They wanted to move the cows closer to home.  And we have all this pasture...  But we only had the pond pasture that we thought was secure enough.  The back perimeter fence is pretty old and feeble.  So the cows came home to roost a couple of weeks ago... while I was out at Mom's.  I heard some tales about fence jumping.  The day after I came home, the neighbor called.  "We have a cow in our yard."

Gaak.  So I get a pail and put grain in it and trek across the street to the pasture surrounding the neighbor... and sure enough, there's Stormy munching away.  Fortunately the cows are pretty people friendly.  I rattled the bucket and she followed me home.

But still, the critters were getting into the east pasture, the west pasture... who knows where.  They spent some time at Crawfords, the guys with a big spread of cattle behind us.  I don't know if they were in heat and seeking a bull, lonely for their old owner who treated them like pets, or just eager to see what's on the other side of the fence.

We opened the gate to the east pasture because there really wasn't much grass in the pond pasture... although they had a round bale of hay there.  Still, they managed to slip through to the west pasture. If one went to the west pasture, the others wanted to follow. We were out working, turned our back on Charlie, the mom... and zoom. she went into the west pasture.

We'd done some fencing in the back and had 4' rolled fencing to put up.  Friday and Saturday Tom and I tackled the fence. We stretched it with the tractor, but we needed to take out a few saplings to get the tractor in.  It actually went faster than I thought it would.  Saturday we got the fence up to the cross-fence and just a little beyond.  Then Tom went off to Super Saturday.

I was super excited to see that the cows stayed in the east pasture.  It's been over 24 hours and no escapees.

I'd ordered glasses and had them sent to Mom's.  I used them there-- they were for computer and reading... but they just weren't right.  So Monday I went back to the Optometrist and had them check them out.  I'd ordered them from Zenni... and online source.. and they are transition ones, so the prescription needs to be in the exact place. 

They also checked my eyes again to insure the prescription was correct.  I went back to Zenni.  They were very nice.  They said I'd put an incorrect number into the prescription space, but they volunteered to give me 100% credit. I sent the glasses back, and when they get them, they'll give me credit to reorder.

Monday night we had Empty Nesters. We were in charge.  I can't say we did a lot of prep work, but it went okay. We did some getting to know you better activities.

Tuesday I got my hair cut.  I had talked to a financial publishing house about a kind of complex job and he wanted me to give him an outline of what I planned and a cost for the job. I was unsure what to charge, so I sent out a message to my copywriting group. They were very supportive with ideas and thoughts.  I actually called two friend who are working in that area, and they were very kind as well to give insight and support.  I came up with what I thought was a fair price, and he didn't quibble at all.  So that was great!  Of course he has to check it out with his boss.... but I think it will work out. 

Now I just need to finish the long sales copy I'm working on now. I feel like I'm slogging through it. It's not easy.  Unless the end turns out to be fantastic and vibrant, I'm thinking I'm not doing a 20 page sales letter again.

We had a happy squash plant that blessed us with nearly two dozen pumpkin-sized squash.  We gave 6 or so away at Family Home Evening.  I cooked two of them up in my instant pot and made squash soup with some of it.  It was actually quite tasty and made me feel virtuous.   Only 16 more squash to go....

I had bought upholstery fabric while I was out at mom's for the "giraffe" chair we'd gotten from yer several years ago. The fabric was wearing thin.  I really didn't want to do the work... especially since we HAVE to do the upholstery on the settee from Aunt Ruth.  So I was pleased when I went to the upholsterer and asked the cost to do it and it was reasonable. Yeah!

Friday we had the missionaries to dinner.  Saturday Tom went to West Plains for a youth activity.

I was looking for an old email and went diving into my sent email file. It was fascinating to see what I was thinking about and doing a year ago. Wow!  So much done and forgotten about.

Week at Mom's

I had such a nice time at Mom's house.  She continued to gain strength to the point that she went back to doing exercises and having a physical therapist come into the home.

Monday we went out to lunch with Cynthia and Regina-- Mom's old upstairs neighbor. We went to this lovely restaurant right on the beach in Laguna Beach. Our table was at the window so we looked over a rose garden to see people walking on a cobbled walk. Then it dropped off to the beach and ocean.

 It was a bit overcast  and drizzly,which was great for Mom since she didn't have to deal with any glare.

Tuesday I had a call with Eagle Publishing and am working on a proposal for some emails and sales material for them.  I think I will enjoy this work.

Cynthia and I went out to get material for strings to hold mom's alert button... so she can be color coordinated with her medical alert necklace and the rest of her attire. Cynthia had a lovely "Adam's Family" dress to try on at the alterations place.  It was stunning.  They marked it for hemming.   Then we went to a wonderful nursery near the Newport Beach Temple.  They had every plant imaginable and some wonderful fountains of polished stone with water bubbling out the top and running down the sides.  I loved this hanging garden on the side of one of the kiosks.

It looked like they filled canvas bags with dirt and then put the plants in the "pocket."  I could have bought a bag for $50. Slightly tempted.

Wednesday I listened to a webinar on line.  Mom and I went through some financial things and then we did a bit of shopping and went out to dinner with Cynthia and Jim.  Mom was imagining the little fish place just down the road, but Cynthia... the driver... was thinking mom meant a place further away in Tustin.  Fishbone.  Or BoneFish... I think.  Anyway, I had a salmon salad and it was delicious!

Then I came home and packed for my trip the next day. I was very proud of myself for getting everything in the suitcase... including 3 yards of upholstery material. I rolled everything!

It was fun on Thursday. I got up... and I didn't have anything to do until Cynthia came for me about 11am.  So mom and I visited and I made a lunch. I used some of the delicious bread Cynthia had made for our Walter Jr. Farewell on Sunday past.

At the airport and on the plane I worked on finishing reviewing the notes I took at Bootcamp. It was a good refresher. I had expected it to be chilly in Arkansas... but it was warmer than California!  Tom met me at the airport and we drove to Conway and spent the night.  Then we continued on home on Friday.

My friend Marian, the potter, has a husband who does forge work.  I'd mentioned I'd love to have a dutch oven stand made from horse shoes.  So he made one for me!  The feet are from an ammo train track spikes, so it has a kind of history. (He also does ordinance disposal, so I guess he's around old ammo train tracks at times.) We stopped and picked that up on the way home.

We also went by the house that Tom spent the past week painting.  It looks much nicer... but the new paint makes the roof look a bit older now.  I spend the rest of the day and most of Saturday unpacking and getting reoriented to the house-- catching up on mail, visiting with cats and chickens. Meeting the cows, transferring documents from laptop to home computer.

Sunday we had a regional conference.  Everyone from California through Texas participated in this conference.  There was talk about the hurricane and the help that came from members around the area.  There was some talk of the California fires. But I don't know how much assistance people needed out there. 

We had a long choir practice and the self-reliance class in the afternoon.  Tom went to West Plains for a meeting.  And we submitted our mission paperwork. Next step: interview with the stake president.  Then our paperwork will be on the way to Salt Lake City.

It's been a good week.  I loved visiting mom and hated to leave.  And yet, it's nice to be home with Tom.

Accountability loop

While I was at a writer’s conference I learned this really cool thing I want to share with you. This is from Annie Hyman Pratt, a coach and public speaker.

We are hard-wired to live in the victim loop. It’s just natural. When we have a situation we don’t like or are uncomfortable with we first ignore it. (Maybe it will go away.) When that doesn’t work we deny we really have a problem. (It’s not that bad.) But when we have to face that we really have a problem we blame others. (It’s not my fault… or if it is my fault, it’s really that I ran out of time, or I didn’t understand, or I got too busy… so it’s really not my fault.)

Then we rationalize— that means we dig in and get totally vested in blaming. Then we resist. We just don’t want to deal with the problem. And finally we hide. We delve into Facebook, don’t answer the phone, sleep. Or hide in our room.

These are natural ways to deal with problems. But they are ineffective. They don’t solve the problem… indeed. It makes it worse for you and those around you.

We know we will find ourselves in the victim loop. But as soon as we do, we can take steps to move into the Accountability loop. One if the first steps is to recognize. We recognize we’re in the victim loop and/or we recognize we have a problem

The next step is to own our part of the problem. Even if someone did something to us, we still can take ownership of how we respond or what our next steps will be. We can own that we have a part to play in the solution. We can own our feelings. (I’m afraid, or I’m feeling defensive.) We can own our need to call out the problem: “Here’s the challenge that I see.”

The next step is to apply forgiveness. We all make mistakes- us and others. Forgive ourselves and others… give grace and compassion. We need to get to neutral— not anger, fear, etc. Whatever happened, happened. It’s now in the past. Get over judgement, anger, emotions and move on.

Self-examination is your consideration of your role in getting a better outcome. How can you help others make good choices?

 Learn. Sometimes you have to learn more information or figure out your part in finding the best action to a good outcome. Then take the action.

Taking ownership (accountability loop) gets results. You have a different mindset- one that looks for solutions, and you have a structure to support your decisions. It requires a change of behavior on your part… but also on the part of other people involved in the problem.

I love how this business woman talked about forgiveness as an essential part of being accountable.

So often, we have similar goals. We start out in agreement of what we think a good outcome is. If not, part of learning may be to find out what you or others think is a good outcome.

Then your actions address the changes needed to make that outcome happen.

She had a great “non-blame” way to address problems. Say for example the deadline for copy is on Tuesday. Or the goal is to have a happy family.

1. Start with what changed. (We agreed revisions would be over on Friday and on Monday you gave me new changes. Or you said you’d be kind to your brother and now you’re teasing him.)

2. Articulate how the change created a challenge to achieve the desire outcome. (The GAP + the Impact.) (You want the final copy on Tuesday but it will take me two days to incorporate your revisions. Or Our goal is to have a loving family and teasing makes that impossible.)

3. Offer solutions, adjustments and potential changes to reach the desired outcome.

(We could push the final copy due date back to Wednesday and still have an excellent report. Or You might apologize to your brother or do something kind for him to restore harmony in the home.)

4. Ask for their ideas for solutions, adjustments and potential changes to reach the desired outcome. They might have different or better ideas.

5. Then discuss it and negotiate to reach a new agreement to achieve the desired outcome.

Can you think of a problem you’ve had recently… either of your own making (late to work or school) or someone else’s making (they stole from you or didn’t keep their word.) Go through the steps and see how you responded. Were you a victim? Go through it again and see how you might be able to change things around by moving to the accountability loop. I’d love it if you’d think about this and work at it for a week and then report back how it worked for you.  Will you do that?