Monday 25 June 2018 edition

Monday 25 June 2018

Dear Family,

This is your Monday letter because everyone else sends out their letters on Sunday…and since Tom is doing this, it gets done when he can get to it.

We started out last week in Laguna Woods.  I got in a Monday morning run in the cool SoCal air and enjoyed the weather and the beautiful surroundings of the Village; they do a marvelous job of landscaping the area so beautifully. 

Then we went over to GGs to spend time. Sally was able to drive down and spend time with us during the afternoon.  I enjoy Sandy’s family; even though I am mostly on the fringes, they always have interesting conversations and fun things to do.  We packed that evening.

Tuesday morning Cynthia and Jim drove us to John Wayne airport to start our journey home.  Sandy had requested wheelchair assistance just in case she needed it and asked for a companion to sit with her, Delta originally had us sitting apart.  The counter and gate personnel were more than helpful in getting us sitting together and boarded early.  I felt pampered.  Flights and connections went smoothly and Deborah was waiting for us at Northwest Regional Airport.  We spent the night in a motel and then visited with Deborah and family before heading home.  Since Deborah was picking up Rebecca and her three youngest daughters in Springfield and driving them to our house, we took Christopher and Samantha with us so there would be room in her car to accommodate Rebecca’s family. Deborah arrive shortly after we did and stayed for a short visit before taking her children home.

Sandy did amazing well on the entire trip.  Leg swelling reduced, physical stamina improved.  How could it not, being around her family! Each day she showed some small sign of improvement.

I spent time working on the rent house on Thursday and Friday.  Rebecca resumed her normal duties preparing wonderful meals for us.  She has researched foods that would be beneficial for Sandy’s health and we have had some tasty meals.

Saturday morning was the scout fundraiser 5k run.  Both Rebecca and I ran.  There were only about 25 participants (because this is a scout fund raiser, the scouts are involved with setting up and conducting the event and are not able to run with the rest of us.  So, they run after the event is over).  I was surprised with my time of under 31 minutes.  And I did not hurt tooooo much afterwards!

Sunday we had some great talks in church about staying close to the Spirit, ministering and procrastination.  In the evening I gave the eulogy at a memorial service for a man from our ward.

Sandy has continued to improve, mostly. Her feet and legs are back to normal, no swelling, Stomach has reduced size. The only downside is she is still gradually losing weight.  Hopefully with Rebecca here, she will reverse that trend.

Love,

Sandy and Tom

Life after a 'weak' in the hospital

Happy Birthday to Callie (8th)  and Rebecca  (9th) and a Happy Anniversary to Jonathan and Kristy (9th).

This has been a great week of improvement for Sandy.  She is eating more 'real' food; even had a slice of a chocolate pie Rebecca had previously made and put in the freezer; she is up and moving around more, to include walking outside; she is sleeping better in bed each night; there is more light in her eyes.  Our friend the massage therapist has been coming regularly to massage Sandy's feet; on her Friday visit, she exclaimed:  'you have knees!".  The swelling had decrease significantly over the week so that the legs were not nearly so swollen. (another tender mercy).

Hospice sent a physical therapist on Wednesday and taught Sandy some strengthening and balancing exercises to practice.  They seem to be helping as well.

Today, Sandy went to an early morning Tia Chia class at Lake Norfolk where she was on her feet for 40 minutes and then came home and attended all three hours of church.

We continue to be optimistic that she is recovering.  This week we fly out to CA to visit her Mom and Siblings.  Should be a great time with family!

I was grateful for the assistance of Andy and family, especially on the rent house. Kera helped select tile and grout colors for the bath and kitchen.  Andy helped get all the cabinets installed.

 Cabinet installation with countertops and sink; a work still in progress.

Katie was helpful painting the living room.

Aaron was a little timid taking the sledge hammer to the bathtub, but he quickly got over that fear when he saw how determined the 325 pound cast iron tub was.

There is a nice color hardwood floor under the carpet; unfortunately, there are paint splatters around the edges which I am hoping will wash off.  Otherwise, the floor will need to be sanded and polyurethaned.😖

And here are the stay at home helpers that weeded and kept Grandma happy.

The revolving families have been a great  blessing this week.  Kera left on Tuesday and Deborah arrived later in the day, after sending Ian off to Utah and Sarah to girl's camp.  She had to leave Saturday morning to collect Sarah.  But Kristy, with Isabelle and David arrived in the evening and will stay until Tuesday.  It has been a fun adventure having different grandchildren in the home for a longer period of time.  Gives us an opportunity to enjoy their individual and unique personalities and discover just how amazing all of them are!

Gassville in the Park Festival

Last Saturday was the Gassville in the Park Festival; this a community of just over 2000 that hosts this annual event which includes a 5K, crafts and vendors, old car display, live music and food.  I have participated in the 5K since 2013 and this year invited some of Andy's children to join me. There were approximately 25 participants and when the awards were presented, Aaron (15) was the the first to cross the finish line at just under 21 minutes.  Matthew (11) tied for 3rd and was first in his age group.  Katie, who ran most of the race with me, finished in 29 minutes and was first in her age group.  And the beauty of age, I was first in the male over 59, because I was the only one in that bracket!  I had a very respectable time (I thought) of 30:13.  So a good time was had by all.

Next family run (I hope):  The Red, White, and Blue Festival hosted by the local college on 30 June with a run sponsored  by the local police department.  Rebecca, if you are here...

The Phoenix Rises

It has been noted that not much communications have emanated from this part of the country lately; so I am attempting to mitigate those circumstances.

First, some interesting highlights of the past two weeks:

Interesting writing on the tree house after family visited over Mother's Day weekend: 

I found this critter in the chicken coop one afternoon.  He was difficult to extract from the coop.  We still have all 10 chickens and he has not returned (that I know of).

I caught Zane harassing a small chipmunk in the backyard and distracted the cat long enough for the little critter to escape to this peach tree.  Zane went looking for the small guy, but was unsuccessful.  

And then he almost fell out of the tree.

We spent Memorial Day weekend with Jonathan's family in MO.  It was a quiet and peaceful time of relaxing.  One highlight was helping Isabelle practice parallel parking (she did pass her driving test and now has her license to drive!).  

On the way home from their house on Memorial Day, Sandy said she thought she needed to go to the ER in Mountain Home.  So, we came home long enough to empty the car, grab a go back for her and head to the hospital.  Amazingly enough, there was no waiting and she was assigned a room on what we later learned is the 'Wild West Wing'.  

When Sandy said she needed to go to the hospital, my first thought was to call Miranda with a distress signal.  Bless her heart, her whole family arrived less than 10 hours later and stayed for several days.  She even made almost a month's worth of freezer meals.

Many of her vital levels were low; she did not feel like eating a lot for various reasons and so was not receiving the nourishment she needed to sustain life.  IVs were connected to her port and she improved daily.  She also had fluid in the abdomen which they did not remove until Thursday.  Then, because it was very viscus, they wanted to culture it to learn what bacteria was lurching in the dark recesses of her abdomen.  The doctor did not want to release her without the proper medications to combat the bacteria. They did not get the results until Sunday morning.

On Friday noon, Andy's family arrived.  They were here to help me with the rental house I have been working on this month and to assist with Sandy's care.  It is marvelous to have such a loving family!!  Then Stef and Vic arrived in the evening.  Vic had a bowling tournament in Jonesboro and they stayed until Sunday evening.  It was great to enjoy their company!

I arrived early on Sunday to visit prior to church only to be met with:  I am being released and I am going to church!  A quick call home and Katie delivered a dress she could wear and we were off to church.  Because she was still weak, I used the wheelchair at church to assist in getting into the chapel; and we sat in the back in case she needed to use the bath room facilities (which she did).

She only stayed for sacrament meeting.  In the evening, the hospice house representative visited to indoctrinate us in the services they provide.

A church friend, former massage therapist turned RN, visited Sandy in the hospital and gave her a massage on Saturday.  She has stopped by the last two evenings after work to massage her feet and legs (due to edema). Today hospice delivered a wheelchair so she can get out and shop.

She rebooked her flight to SoCal to visit family and I will be joining her for that trip.

The children have been so supportive, organizing support visits for the next couple of weeks.  While Andy left this evening, Kera will stay until Tuesday afternoon when Deborah will arrive.  Kristy will relieve her on Saturday. We feel so loved and blessed!!

Thank you all for your prayers, calls and thoughts in our behalf.

Do Nothing week.

It was so fun to prolong the Birthday Celebration with Jonathan and Adam spending the night and leaving Monday morning.  And Rebecca got to stay even later.

Adam's leaning back alerted us to a flaw with Mom Fox's old recliner.  I didn't want to fix it.  And I realized if I was sitting in a chair all day, it might as well be one that is comfortable on my back. So after the boy's left, Rebecca and I went recliner shopping. I found something comfortable and Tom brought it home that afternoon.

It was a delight to have Rebecca at hand.  She made tasty natural meals that she and Tom ate, as I had little appetite. She also was wonderful to have to call on when I needed a warming bean bag or a glass of dandelion tea. She managed to get a bunch of shopping in as well.  That included buying a new sewing machine for me. She is delighted with it and it looks pretty snazzy.  I think she filled me in enough that I will be able to use it.

This week I realized how easy it was to do... nothing. I had computer, scriptures, books.  But it was just as easy to just sit and look out the front window... or close my eyes and doze. I got a lot of nothing done this week. And a lot of dozing. I passed on my art class.  I did go to Tai Chi on Tues, Thursday and to Clifford, the Chinese healer.  No energy for a trip to Richard's.

I had been asked to give a talk at Stake Conference on Saturday. Thursday, I realized I didn't have the energy to do it.  I called the executive secretary and asked if, since it was mostly written, they might want Tom to read it. President Jones called back and we had a lovely visit. I spoke of my concerns about pain and nausea and he recommended and prescribed some drugs for me. (He's an MD.) These seem to have helped.

Friday I had a long chat with, Carolyn, the new Stake RS President who as asked to speak in my stead. I gave her my notes and we talked about what I had planned to say.  I heard the talk went well. She'd told me that every illness has an emotional component to it. I pondered that, and realized she was right.  I was afraid of growing old and feeble. I saw these rich, vibrant, contributing couples... and 20 years later they are holding on by their fingernails. I was afraid of being that kind of person.  If I checked out early, I didn't have to deal with this.  However, I also had images of Heavenly Father saying, "Why did you come home early?  There was so much more do do."  So I had to ask myself, do I trust God and his plans for me? Will I rely on his promises? I chose yes.

I also saw that I had value to my children and grandchildren even if I was "old and feeble" and just sitting in a chair all weekend. They still acted as if I were worth having around. So I determined the cop-out was not an option.  I would fight and give it my all and my best.

We are promised the gift of healing and the gift to be healed.  As I pondered, I realized that through blessings and prayers, we have felt the Lord say, I would be healed. He gave permission for healing to take place.  Indeed, I think he gave me permission to  heal myself, and Tom permission to heal. me.  That it's time to stop asking and start acting. We need to act on our faith to be healed. Great.  How do we do that?  I'm open to ideas. How does one use the healing power of the Lord to heal themselves or others? I think one way is visualization: imagine the healing power of God, the energy of the Universe, the Light of Christ flowing into your body filling it with energy, light, power and healing... and tossing out the sick stuff.

Then I came across a recent quote by I think, President Nelson.  He said,"Because the body is governed by divine law, any healing comes by obedience to the laws upon which that blessing is predicated." So what laws do I need to be obeying to get the blessings?

The bottom line, I'm going to fight this with everything I have.  I will do all I can do.  And then I will be patient and await the miracles of God.

I have been using some of Cynthia's herbs, I I think one of them may be helping.  I spoke with a naturopath this week who came highly recommended. She seemed very clear and knowledgeable about cancer solutions, and treatment plans.  I ordered the recommended products and equipment and have begun part of the protocol.

While this week was a low week, lots of sleeping, no energy, I started feeling some better on Saturday and today-Sunday- for the first time, I felt better as the day progressed, instead of worse. And I was able to keep more food down. I plan on things moving upward.

Sunday I went to the Stake Conference session broadcast to our building.  It was very good. A lot of talking on ministering. I think the essence of ministering is love. When people reach out in love, caring and a desire to help,  it doesn't much matter of they offer something useless.  You see the love behind the action.  And when you receive their acts in love... that's ministering.

Best. Birthday. Ever!

Last week was a fabulous week!

On Monday evening we went to Hannah and Jacob's high school graduation party. It was nice to sit and chat with Gerry Rasmussen who took a week break from her mission to come to the celebration. I indulged in a pulled pork sandwich and it was tasty!

Tom has been going out to the Midway house most every day to work on one project or another.  The cupboards, stove, and sink are all out, as is the shelving in the stairwell.  He is working on painting some of the trim.  The cleaning woman finally came on Thursday, so I hope it smells better.

On the health side, I had some struggles. I did pretty well until Wednesday when we went with the sister missionaries to visit Richard and then go and teach an older gentlemen,  He's a songwriter, but moved down from the north and is now fixing up a trailer in the middle of the Ozark hills. Both are such wonderful, sincere people it was a delight to talk with them.

However, by the time I got home, I was nauseated and couldn't keep things down. Thursday I still felt poorly and debated if I should call off the hordes coming to the house. But I decided I could be like Grandma Marion-- just sit in my chair and have people come visit me.  And it was wonderful.

Miranda arrived about midnight on Thursday. It was sweet. Camden brought over his Lego toys and we played Legos for several hours. Part if it is just admiring the parts and pieces, but you can "vroom" around some of the fun pieces, and Camden has a lot of interesting pieces-- Gandalf, mine craft, super heroes, and more. Then Ethan and Alex came over and we played a few games of Uno.

Because I was nauseated and not keeping things down, I wondered if I was filling with fluid again. I called Dr. Nachtigal's office and went in.  Yes, there appeared to be some fluid. He sent me to the hospital. The ultrasound showed the fluid was striated and in pockets.  They were not so sure how much would come out.  But they tried and got 400cc's.  I felt some better.

When I got back home, Jonathan had arrived.  And Surprise, Surprise! Rebecca was there, too!!! I came out from examining the tent... and there she was! Brought me to tears.

She'd flown in from Okinawa.  It was such a remarkable delight!  Then Deborah and family came on Friday evening after dinner, as did Andy and family.  And my wonderful friends, Tanya and Scott Kelley drove the 13 hours from Ohio to celebrate with us!

Tom ordered in pizza for dinner, so as people arrived, they just kept munching on the pizzas. I wondered how we would fit everyone in the house, but Andy and Kera's kids were happy to sleep in hammocks and in our brightly striped Kurdish tent. Miranda's boys were excited by the tent, but forgot the operative word "sleep," so they eventually came inside to crash. The Drakes offered some spare bedrooms and Scott and Tanya took that.

Saturday morning I had my final surprise-- Adam arrived! He had planned to come down with Rebecca and Jonathan, but flights got delayed and he arrived here about midnight on Friday. I felt so loved, like my cup runneth over.  I had gifts and goodies showered on me.  I'm not sure I remember them all, although I was so grateful.  Ian made a beautiful wooden bed to replace the hunk of junk  that was the squeaky trundle bed. I'm sure Adam and Jonathan were so grateful they didn't have to trade squeaks all night. Many people did service projects--weeding the flower garden and the blue berries. Katie sanded and painted the rocking bench. Miranda and Dan cleaned my crystals and I have some fun ones.

Children were happy to bear-foot walk around the property with me... although we move pretty slowly. I got soft towels and useful spatulas, Tanya made a watermelon cake with meringue (literally a block of watermelon with toasted meringue on top) for me.  And then she created a HUGE Death by Chocolate cake that made people absolutely willing to die for it. We celebrated on Saturday.  There was some left over at the beginning of Sunday... but it very quietly disappeared. Adam brought Sees Candy.  I think I will freeze my box in the hopes that some day I can have a sample now and then.

Sunday morning we took family pictures.  Oh it was wonderful to be surrounded by family! I think we filled nearly three benches at church on Sunday. Sunday afternoon families slowly headed home, sigh.  Jonathan, Adam and Rebecca stayed Sunday night, with Adam flying out about 1pm.  Rebecca, I get to keep until Friday.  I can't tell you how much I am enjoying that.

This is the mandatory awkward "prom" photo.

One of Grandma Fox's chairs took a hit, almost dumping Adam to the floor.  I was not inclined to fix it. In fact, I was realizing that the chair I sat in during the night at times, was not all that comfortable on my back. So Monday, Rebecca and  I went shopping for a ladies recliner. I wanted something that would not overwhelm the living room and I almost got it.  We needed to rearrange the furniture, and I think it will be okay.

Rollercoaster

Monday we went to inspect the Midway house; after almost 13 years of living there, the tenant bought a house and moved out.  There was a lot of deferred maintenance since the major projects that needed doing would require a week or more to do and we did not want to inconvenience the tenant (mom, dad and two teenage daughters).  On the surface... it looks kinda straight forward, gut and replace the kitchen, gut and replace the bath, paint the interior, new deck... and then there's the outside and the basement.

We've always had a leaking problem in the basement. When they widened the road, they elevated it and changed the drainage.  Everything flows toward the house. We put a drainage ditch across the front.  It sometimes gets overwhelmed in a strong storm. We put a French drain along the west side and changed the flow to carry runoff away from the house.  That stopped the west wall from leaking.
But ultimately we need to change the slope of the front yard, to get the water away from the house regardless of wind, rain direction, or amount of water.

Then, once we have a dry basement, we can move on to the final project of putting a third bedroom and perhaps a bath downstairs.  It has a flimsy, panel framed bedroom and storage room that look like crud.  We'll see if we have the money to complete this step.

The good news is that this house is much smaller than the 211 one we remodeled and flipped.  And the upstairs has hardwood floors in the living room, hall and two bedrooms. So that will save some $$. (Unless they're all messed up...)

Tom has been after me to write my funeral preferences and my personal history. I think I should do them... even if I live another 25 years. As the week went by, I felt increasingly awful.  I couldn't sleep laying down. I couldn't eat.  I felt best when I just didn't eat anything. Once I ate, I was nauseated.

Somehow, Bessie, the under grown cow was left behind.  We thought she'd stay penned in the pond pasture... no. On Monday, a call from a neighbor to the west announced the escape artist.  So she got to live in the barn stall until Wednesday morning when she was hauled off for hamburger.  So, we no longer have the plaintive mew of a lonely cow, fresh manure to step in, or an obsticle to prevent Tom from bush hogging the pasture.

We had a realtor meet us out there to check it out and on Wednesday. He asked how I was doing, and I really felt particularly crummy. He was so sweet.  He asked if he could pray with us and offered a lovely prayer that I would have strength and support from my family around me. Then I drove to Richard's for an energy healing.  As he gave it, I felt the love of the Lord so strongly, tears just streamed down my face. Whatever the future, I KNOW the Lord loves me!

Wednesday night, as I was sitting in a chair trying to figure out why I felt so miserable, I decided I must be getting a bowel blockage.  Why else would I only have burps and nausea?  I was have some poop going through... but maybe it was getting worse and worse? If I went in for surgery... what would happen to my Sunday lesson? To kids coming to visit? I decided to write my funeral arrangements... and a response to an email from the missionaries who recruited us to the ANM mission... just in case I was in the hospital.

Thursday I called the surgeon's office.  They were so nice. Asked questions, trusted my answers... and ordered a CT scan by 3 on Thursday. I had an 8am appointment on Friday to hear results. The good news was no blockage. But there were 2 quarts of fluid in the abdominal cavity that should not be there.  I was SO anxious to have it removed. I thought for sure I'd suddenly feel much better. There was a huge yard sale across the street from the Dr's office. I figured I could be miserable anywhere, so I stayed in the car while Tom went in to find treasures of: A back-up juicer, a needed rug and a broom. Unfortunately it still didn't kill all the time between the Dr. Apt and the hospital procedure, so we headed home for a half hour..

They removed the fluid about 10am, but, alas, I still felt wretched with tremendous pain in the abdomen. It has slowly diminished over the next few days. By Saturday my weight had dropped to 137... lower than I wanted.  I'm trying to eat more and more nutritious foods to build up strength and weight.

On a fun note, Dan McClellan got a record player for Tom.  It looks old fashioned but has some nice features.  We have been listening to his old record collection most every morning and enjoying old favorites.  This week we listened to Rudyard Kipping's stories of "How the Elephant Got It's Long Nose" and "How the Camel Got It's Hump." as well as Tiajuana Brass and Mozart. Next week, maybe "Tubby the Tuba."

Sunday in the opening prayer, Bro. Maple prayed that those people who were in pain or afflicted would have their pain taken from them, even if it was only temporarily.  I thought, yes, I want that. And immediately my pain was gone. I just started crying. I felt the love of the Lord and his attention to one of the sparrows of the field. After a bit some of the pain returned, but the drop to no pain was so instantaneous it was an absolute miracle.

Today I taught the lesson in Relief Society about ministering to ourselves so we can minister to others. I had a very supportive class that offered great insights and moving comments.  I think I was successful in getting the three critical points across: God loves us in our imperfect state (See Genesis 1) We are good.  He feels our pains (Alma 7:11-12) and so as we lift the burdens of others and choose happiness, we help the Savior feel those joyful emotions as well. And all things are spiritual to God, so how do we do mundane, temporal things in a spiritual way?  We discussed asking ourselves: How would a Godly Woman [wash dishes, go shopping, haul kids around.] It's a question worth contemplating.

Today we were called as Ward Missionaries.  I think this will be a fun calling. We love our sister missionaries and have been trying to support them. We went out this afternoon to visit a young couple and have a follow-up visit Thursday night.  We also have a man who's come to church 3-4 times we will visit... who lives way out in the boonies... on Wednesday. I pray the Lord sustains my health for this. Back-up plan, Tom meets the sisters at the homes.