Do Nothing week.

It was so fun to prolong the Birthday Celebration with Jonathan and Adam spending the night and leaving Monday morning.  And Rebecca got to stay even later.

Adam's leaning back alerted us to a flaw with Mom Fox's old recliner.  I didn't want to fix it.  And I realized if I was sitting in a chair all day, it might as well be one that is comfortable on my back. So after the boy's left, Rebecca and I went recliner shopping. I found something comfortable and Tom brought it home that afternoon.

It was a delight to have Rebecca at hand.  She made tasty natural meals that she and Tom ate, as I had little appetite. She also was wonderful to have to call on when I needed a warming bean bag or a glass of dandelion tea. She managed to get a bunch of shopping in as well.  That included buying a new sewing machine for me. She is delighted with it and it looks pretty snazzy.  I think she filled me in enough that I will be able to use it.

This week I realized how easy it was to do... nothing. I had computer, scriptures, books.  But it was just as easy to just sit and look out the front window... or close my eyes and doze. I got a lot of nothing done this week. And a lot of dozing. I passed on my art class.  I did go to Tai Chi on Tues, Thursday and to Clifford, the Chinese healer.  No energy for a trip to Richard's.

I had been asked to give a talk at Stake Conference on Saturday. Thursday, I realized I didn't have the energy to do it.  I called the executive secretary and asked if, since it was mostly written, they might want Tom to read it. President Jones called back and we had a lovely visit. I spoke of my concerns about pain and nausea and he recommended and prescribed some drugs for me. (He's an MD.) These seem to have helped.

Friday I had a long chat with, Carolyn, the new Stake RS President who as asked to speak in my stead. I gave her my notes and we talked about what I had planned to say.  I heard the talk went well. She'd told me that every illness has an emotional component to it. I pondered that, and realized she was right.  I was afraid of growing old and feeble. I saw these rich, vibrant, contributing couples... and 20 years later they are holding on by their fingernails. I was afraid of being that kind of person.  If I checked out early, I didn't have to deal with this.  However, I also had images of Heavenly Father saying, "Why did you come home early?  There was so much more do do."  So I had to ask myself, do I trust God and his plans for me? Will I rely on his promises? I chose yes.

I also saw that I had value to my children and grandchildren even if I was "old and feeble" and just sitting in a chair all weekend. They still acted as if I were worth having around. So I determined the cop-out was not an option.  I would fight and give it my all and my best.

We are promised the gift of healing and the gift to be healed.  As I pondered, I realized that through blessings and prayers, we have felt the Lord say, I would be healed. He gave permission for healing to take place.  Indeed, I think he gave me permission to  heal myself, and Tom permission to heal. me.  That it's time to stop asking and start acting. We need to act on our faith to be healed. Great.  How do we do that?  I'm open to ideas. How does one use the healing power of the Lord to heal themselves or others? I think one way is visualization: imagine the healing power of God, the energy of the Universe, the Light of Christ flowing into your body filling it with energy, light, power and healing... and tossing out the sick stuff.

Then I came across a recent quote by I think, President Nelson.  He said,"Because the body is governed by divine law, any healing comes by obedience to the laws upon which that blessing is predicated." So what laws do I need to be obeying to get the blessings?

The bottom line, I'm going to fight this with everything I have.  I will do all I can do.  And then I will be patient and await the miracles of God.

I have been using some of Cynthia's herbs, I I think one of them may be helping.  I spoke with a naturopath this week who came highly recommended. She seemed very clear and knowledgeable about cancer solutions, and treatment plans.  I ordered the recommended products and equipment and have begun part of the protocol.

While this week was a low week, lots of sleeping, no energy, I started feeling some better on Saturday and today-Sunday- for the first time, I felt better as the day progressed, instead of worse. And I was able to keep more food down. I plan on things moving upward.

Sunday I went to the Stake Conference session broadcast to our building.  It was very good. A lot of talking on ministering. I think the essence of ministering is love. When people reach out in love, caring and a desire to help,  it doesn't much matter of they offer something useless.  You see the love behind the action.  And when you receive their acts in love... that's ministering.