Raining leaves

Monday I mulched leaves on a third of the yard; then attacked another third on Tuesday. By Wednesday it was difficult to tell if any of the leaves had been eradicated. Today it is hard to see part of where the driveway is because of the leaves. The good news is that a majority of the leaves have fallen so that the next time I mulch should be the last time. I did remove three piles of leaves the grandchildren had raked a couple of weeks ago and dumped them in the burn pile. We had rain twice this week and they were soggy.

Things accomplished this week include getting the downstairs carpet and stairs cleaned, the chiropractor visited, a lesson with the missionaries and a member, and running a couple of times. The big news was running on Saturday in my favorite 5 K of the year; this is the full, half marathon and 5 K that supports a village in Kenya with its proceeds. Approximately 750 participate; less than 150 run the 5 K, so that says something about the people that run. Some come from as far as Memphis. I invited the sister missionaries to run, and they did. It was 41 degrees, chilly, overcast, and there was a slight wind. I pushed myself and was surprised with how well I did: 42 of 136 and 1st male in the over 70 age bracket. I am going to need to get a lot faster to maintain that standing, since next year the 69 year male that runs in 25 minutes will be a year older. 2nd place is still good. But today the body is stiff and sore.

Next Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, will find my running shoes in Mt Vernon running their Turkey Strut 5 K. Five members of Andy's family as well as Isabelle will participate. Unfortunately, the weather is forecasted to be in the mid-30s with rain! We will enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with Jonathan's family later that day.

The body shop called to inform me that the van was ready; I got my ministering brother to take me in Thursday morning on his way to work. I arrived about the time the secretary discovered a front end alignment, which was needed, had not be performed. So Chad was kind enough to drive me in again the next morning.  It is nice to have the van back after not driving it for 12 days. While the weather is good, I have been driving the Model A more.

Saturday night was also our ward Thanksgiving dinner; it was well attended. I drove 34 miles round trip to pick up three generations of women from one family; it was worth the drive.

Today in church, our newly revived choir sang in sacrament meeting. It is nice to be back in the choir singing again. In elder's quorum we discussed Elder Holland's recent general conference talk given Saturday morning about making Jesus the center of our lives. Some good food for thought on prioritizing what is most important in our lives.

This week I also tried to clean out some drawers in the house. In doing so, several thoughts came to mind:  why do we just put stuff in a drawer and then never return to that drawer to use those items or discard them if necessary? What is our criteria, if any, for saving stuff? My problem now is that I don't necessarily have homes yet for the stuff I am pulling out of drawers or off bookshelves; so in the process of organizing things in an orderly manner, at least in the manner that this male thinks, I have several piles through out the house strategically placed where they will eventually end up, but can't yet because their new homes have not been purged of old stuff to make room for them. This could be a very long term project! But. I have been discarding a lot of unnecessary stuff though.

With the weather cycling between cold to warm, the wasps have made a strong showing in my bedroom. This past week I have had to kill at least a dozen of them. They are usually pretty lethargic, so it is easy to discard them, but it is annoying. Every time I enter the room, I find myself on the lookout for them; don't want to step on them. I don't know how they are gaining entry.

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Winter has arrived!

Just as I sent off last weeks blog and email, I got a call from the car adjuster; he would be out Monday morning - and he was. The auto repair shop had the van Tuesday afternoon. Now they need to order parts and schedule time to complete the work. Don't think I will have a van before next letter writing.

Fall didn't waste anytime going directly to winter weather this year. The trees had barely enough time to start turning into beautiful fall colors when we got slammed with strong winds (good bye leaves) and cold temperatures. Just about every day this week there was white on the ground; on Monday it was the 3/4 inch of snow we received in the afternoon; the other mornings was due to frost. Night time temperatures were in the teens. Most of the yard is covered with leaves.

But Kristy braved the weather and drove down on Monday afternoon, snow and all, with Emily and David. Tuesday morning we had a conference call with my life insurance company to review my benefits and a meeting with the lawyer about the trust. The legal side of the trust is moving forward. The trust allocation is slower moving. There are several accounts that need beneficiaries changed which requires back and forth correspondence to get accurate. Of course, for $90 an hour the law firm is willing to do that work for us. I am not that desperate; Kristy has been amazing at getting her hands wrapped around the procedures to follow, proceeding forward and leaving good notes for me to follow when she leaves. I finally called USAA and told them about Sandy's death and they modified our policies accordingly. Interesting that deleting one driver from the car insurance only dropped the premium about $6 a year. It is based on the number of miles driven and I did not modify those.

Because of the weather, the grief support group was cancelled on Monday. That was okay since I had my own support group staying with me until Thursday morning. I had invites to two homes this week for dinner; I remembered the Tuesday night one, but completely forgot about Thursday night, until the couple called to verify I was okay. Opps!

Friday was our ward's monthly temple trip. We drove the corporation van with seven of us and enjoyed wonderful experiences in the temple. There is always a peaceful feeling there, something I have come to appreciate more.

Saturday was catch up day. While I have trimmed the number of emails going to Sandy's email account (which I intend to keep open for a while) she continues to receive real mail. I have started writing on their return slips that she has passed away and to please remove her name from their mailing lists. It will be interesting to see if they really do.

During the week, I managed to assist the sister missionaries teach a lesson, spend a couple of hours in the family history center and run three days. Next Saturday is the day of my favorite race; it is full, half marathon and a 5 K. 700 plus runners. I can get lost in the crowd. Not sure how well I will do in the 5 K; I seem to be getting slower. I am still working on scanning photos and documents for posteriority; I keep finding more things to retain. I also organized the downstairs freezer. No mystery food, but I did note all the leftovers or food suitable for meal making so now I know what I will be feasting on the next several days. I try to organize file cabinets, bookshelves or drawers each week and wonder why we haven't touched some of these in 20 years! Do we really need a roster from 1993 of the officer wives? But in the process, I have found some touching gems that trigger wonderful memories of family members.

Too Much Excitement for One Week!

Following Steve's good example, I was out visiting one of my 'elderlies' (she is 87ish) and was returning home after dark, when a deer decided to run out into the road within 1.5 miles of home. I braked, it turned away, but we still impacted. It was a solid 'thud' as we hit; fortunately no air bags deployed and I was able to drive home - after I checked out the damage. I admit, I did leave the deer laying on the median, legs still kicking slightly. I came home and filed an online claim with USAA.

They called on Monday to follow up. Seems there is no authorized repair facility in my area, so they have to send an adjuster out which they explained takes 24-48 hours. Once I have that estimate, I can take it to the shop of my choice for repair. And, they will cover the cost of a rent car only while my car is in the shop. That was unfortunate since I had planned to travel to St Louis to attend the temple Tuesday and spend the night; already had a room reserved. While I could probably cut the flapping portion of the bumper off, I did not feel comfortable driving an undiagnosed wounded van 500 miles. So I paid for a rental car and drove to the temple Tuesday AM. Was able to get several ordinances completed and felt good about being there. Then, for old time sakes, I went to Denney's for my favorite meal: breakfast.

Was up Wednesday, breakfasted at the hotel and at the temple by 9 AM. Completed two more endowment sessions before heading home. In between the sessions, I had time to ponder/pray in the celestial room, which resulted in a very sacred spiritual moment for me; it was like having a bottle of 'Peace and Calming' poured over me. On the way home, the check engine light on the 2020 Chevy Equinox came on. I called the Enterprise agent in Mountain Home; he was not much help (it was 445 PM). So I just came on home and had no difficulty. An interesting item: I pulled into a gas station to top off the tank and could not find an access door release. I spent several minutes looking; no where to be found. Then I thought:  ask Google. Did you know all you have to do is push on the access door and it pops open? And there is no gas cap; just a rubber flap that the gas hose pushes open when inserted. Seems to me anyone could pour something in the tank.

Spent Thursday morning getting caught up on home stuff and then drove the truck to Deborah's. Sarah's school was presenting a veteran's day program on Friday and her band was playing and she invited me to come. So I did. I was impressed with the program which lasted about 90 minutes. The band was superb - not at all what I remember sounding like when our junior high school band played. And the choir was equally talented.

They had four speaker representing the four service branches. The Army was represented by an activity duty Army National Guard's man; he was the most animated, but then he was a recruiter! The Marine Corps was represented by a captain that flew CH-46s in Viet Nam. I was able to visit with him briefly; he only spent five years in the Marine Corps and got out about the time I went in. It was an excellent program. I did learn that the CH-46 was retired a couple of years ago; a milestone in the 1990's we did not believe could happen. 

Hailey had a rough night and took an early nap on the couch:

Not sure what happened to fall this year. We went from hot weather, had a few days of transition when the trees started turning color, and then the cold hit. The leaves have not wasted time falling so the pretty colors did not last long. And today is 74 degrees; but Monday we could get a wintry mix and will have temperatures in the teens. Lows for the rest of the week range from 17-26 degrees.

Saturday was mainly spent in scanning photos and documents. The more I scan, the more I find. Guess the gradual cleaning out of desks and bookshelves turns up more items of importance. That evening I was able to get a ride to West Plains for the evening session of Stake Conference. Received some excellent council concerning ministering from several people, all with a different emphasis, but it all came back to disciplining ourselves to act as the Savior would in every situation we find ourselves in. Our initial response to discord or another's need, or friendly encounters should be acting out of love and not hate. Which means we need a lot of practice. Elder Curtis, an area 70  shared just how much God loves us; we underestimate just how much that is. He shared an example when as a stake president he needed some inspiration, and it wasn't coming. As he pleaded for an answer, the thought occurred that he needed to repent; and then what he needed to repent off (something minor); God could not reveal the needed answer since he wasn't clean enough to receive it. Once he repented, he got the answer he needed..

Today we were counseled to promote and elevate our faith in the Savior. Faith leads to repentance which ultimately leads us to be a covenant people. We were reminded that we can strengthen others by inviting them into our homes. And Elder Curtis encouraged us to have practical faith; if we have any eye of faith, we can see as God does.

Oh, the van is still sitting in the driveway waiting for the adjuster to come look at it. I called on Wednesday and was told the adjuster had been canceled - evidently a glitch in the system. So they rescheduled it. When I followed up on Friday I was told something a little different. Bottom line: van still isn't any closer to getting fixed than it was a week ago. Good thing I have a 1930 Ford as a backup vehicle! Late news update: the adjuster just called and will be out in the morning! Hurray.

Have a great week!

Fall is here!

Last Monday I spent the day at one of our rent homes helping a friend install a metal roof; it saves him time and work (and me money) if I hand him the sheets of metal so he doesn't have to climb up and down the ladder for each sheet of metal. Most of these were 3 feet by 15 feet. We got all but the edge trim installed after eight hours of work. And the sheet metal was only tacked down at the top and bottom. I was so engrossed in this work, I forgot all about my grieve support group. Opps. And the weather prevent him from returning and finishing the work last week.

Tuesday I accomplished another first: I packed for a road trip without Sandy's direct help! Ok, so I was only driving to Jonathan and Kristy for two nights, but I had to remember to pack those items that were always Sandy's responsibility - and I got it right! Going to their house can be a real hard ship; it requires driving through Branson (where there is a Harry and David outlet) and also Springfield (where there is an Andy's Frozen Custard). Yes, I made stops at both places on my way. It is always a delight to visit family; fun to watch the children interact, see them conduct their family scripture study, enjoy good food and spend time with grand children. That night we celebrated Miriam's 15 birthday (yes it was a few days early).

Wednesday I spent some time with Kristy reviewing investment options. Without Sandy's financial acumen available, Kristy and Jonathan have become her substitute. This was not my area of expertise and long term investments were left to Sandy. Guess that buck now stops with me. That evening was their Ward Trunk or Treat and chili cook off dinner. There were a lot of cute costumes.

Here are Emily, Miriam, Zachary and David:

Another interesting costume:

The food was good and the fellowship welcomed. Best, the children were happy with their loot.

The weather in Missouri was colder that at home; it was in the mid 20s with frost both mornings. One of my accomplishments while here was to draft some more family members to participate in the Mt Vernon Turkey Strutt 5 K on Thanksgiving morning. I ran this race last year with Isabelle, and since she was participating again this year, I invited Andy's family to join us for the run and dinner. Andy and four of his children will be running as well. I left mid morning on Thursday and returned home without incident.

Friday afternoon Miranda arrived with Alex and Rachel for the weekend. Alex immediately starting raking leaves into a big pile so he could run and jump into them; he found it quite entertaining. While Miranda was here, we did the missionary apartment inspection (every six weeks), sorted the linen closet (why do I need six sets of twin sheets?), sorted through some of the books, trimmed a large and long neglected crape myrtle tree. It is fun hearing the sound of little feet running around the house. And these two children get along well, so there is lots of laughter (and occasional unhappy noises too).

We had good testimonies in church today followed by a lesson on Pauls writings to Timothy and Philemon. Lots of current applicability for today if we wish to remain strong and valiant in spite of the world around us.

Other news:  12 days ago  I had the air handler and exterior unit for heat and air replaced; was 19 years old. That required removing a 6 x 8 section of drywall. While they were installing the new unit, I noticed that the duct work from the return air filter and that going directly into the house were both dusty; I was told not to bother cleaning it, the dust would just return. So how do you prevent this build up? Install a 4 inch filter at the base of the air handler unit. So I had them install one. Seems to me that should be standard equipment. So when Dan was here we installed new drywall. This past week I spent mudding the seams and was able to get the wall painted.

This week I hope to get to the temple.

The week is over already?

It never fails to happen, I know what I want to write up until the time I sit down and am ready to type; then all thoughts of the past week disappear.

Monday it rained so I stayed home doing stuff in the morning. Then attended my Hospice Grief Support Group. The discussion was on anger. I am finding that these classes help me identify feelings/attitudes I am experiencing, but didn't know it. In that regard it clarifies and explains why things are they way they are.

Tuesday AM I met my roofing friend and we started overlaying a sheet metal roof on the garage of one of Rebecca's rent houses. The shingles were crumbling. We got about 60% done after about 3 hours of work. We returned on Wednesday to finish the job. My main responsibility is to hand the sheet metal up to him so he doesn't have to make so many trips up and down the ladder. But I also installed screws.

Before pictures:

Mostly finished photos:

I had been invited to lunch by a good friend that day, so I left early, but after insuring all the sheet metal was on the rood. Kent is a realtor friend, and also lost his first wife a few years ago. He invited me out mainly to just talk. It was therapeutic and the food was good.

Wednesday evening Dan visited until Saturday AM. We tackled some tree trimming in the front yard, and the pasture areas Thursday and into Friday. We got about 90% of the low hanging branches cut (the ones that the tractor cover impacts while bush hogging). We had gone to dinner at a member's home on Thursday night and the sister missionaries were also there. They were willing to come do some service Friday afternoon and we were able not only to collect a majority of the cut limbs, but burn them as well. Their help was appreciated. You might ask how we cut the low limbs; Dan rides in the tractor bucket and I lift or lower him as needed to cut the branches.

I took him to dinner Friday night and we got home just as Kera and her 5 at home children arrived. Of course we had to play 5 Crowns that evening. Saturday was the big day. The local college, ASU, Mountain Home was hosting a 'Whoos Getting Muddy' 5 and 10 K mud run. Charlotte (9), Emma(11), Matthew (13), Katie (18) and I  ran in the 5 K non competitive family fun run.. It was drizzly, there was a lot of mud and it was a very cool 51 degrees. But all the kids made the run and had a varying degree of fun in the process.  Matthew clearly had too much fun! While there were several hundred signed up, in our category there were 67 and we placed from 16-21 (yes, that last number would be me).

The before picture:

The after picture:

Matthew

Charlotte

 Katie and Tom

 Emma, Tom and Charlotte

Tom on the slip and slide

Matthew, Tom, Charlotte

Matthew having too much fun

More Matthew

Thanks to Kera for taking the pictures; she probably ran as much as we did to capture these muddy moments.

Church was good; We had an excellent discussion on being fully committed and what that requires.

Going Solo

Monday I attended the Group Grief Session hosted by Hospice. Might have been 20-25 there; some have attended such discussions for years. They do have some helpful thoughts to share, and you are surrounded by people who have been there done that. Take aways: grief manifests itself physically as well as emotionally and spiritually through poor decision making, confusion. slower in accomplishing even simple tasks. When things get tough, I can pull the 'grief' card as my excuse! Also grief takes a long time to overcome (Ouch!).

Tuesday afternoon Kristy came with Emily; her purpose was to help weed through some of the financial challenges dealing with our trust. While we had a his and her trust, Sandy wanted hers to convert to an irrevocable trust on passing. I don't recall the rationale for this, I just know that it creates a lot of work for us. On Wednesday we met with the representative of the law office and received some homework to complete. Once home, Kristy was able to jump right in to organize the tasks that needed doing. She was able to put things in perspective for me with her spreadsheets, but this trust business is still a challenge for me.

Sue and Steve also left Arkansas headed to NM Wednesday morning. They did some amazing things while here; they were like the fly on the wall; always there when needed and reaching out to assist even when I didn't know assistance was needed. Sue had the foresight to record several conversations with Sandy over the past couple weeks of her life which are very precious to me. Their presence was greatly appreciated and their absence certainly missed.  Thanks so much!!

Thursday, Kristy and I were able to get some accounts organized, phone calls made, bank accounts simplified and felt good about our accomplishments. But she needed to return home before noon, so another sad departure. By 12 noon, I was officially on my own, flying solo. But this evening I was able to talk with our attorney about this trust confusion and he confirmed that we could merge the two - which makes our lives so much simpler. So I had to contact those that we had previously contacted to tell them to put things on hold until we can resolve how to make this happen. Hopefully we can get this taken care of quickly so we can move forward with what needs to be done to merge the two trusts.

Friday and Saturday were spent in staying productively busy. Organizing book cases, scanning lots of pictures, working outside. I did pick up the metal roofing for one our rent houses and for one of Rebecca's garages; the plan was to start installing on Monday, but the weather may preclude that. And no, the bookcases are not fully organized; just books placed in different piles depending on their final destination.

Church today. I find that sacrament meetings have a more significant meaning for me. People have been good about inquiring about me; when anyone asks 'how are you doing' I tell them they need to give me a hug. I have a dinner invite this evening.

I have been on my own four days now; it is bearable, not necessarily easy. I try to stay focused on being busy and that helps. But it is the many tender mercies that God provides that makes this possible. I know from whence my strength comes.

Post Funeral

No post last week. It was too difficult to write the story of Sandy's last couple of earthly hours and then the days leading up to her funeral. Suffice it to say she passed away peacefully with family in her presence. At the funeral on Saturday 5 October, she received a joyous sendoff from her family and friends. There was laughter and tears; hugs and sadness.

The chapel was full, the overflow was full. 25 family members, and a few angels, sang: "Oh, What Songs of the Heart" as the opening song; Miranda gave a lovely eulogy, Dan McClellan read memories of the siblings and Jonathan gave the Plan of Salvation talk. All were superb. Then it was off to Douglas Cemetery for the interment. But there had been an auto accident at the major intersection just up from the chapel, so we were delayed a few minutes. But Sandy got her police escort. I drove the Model A to the cemetery. It was the car we started our lives together with, so it was only appropriate that the car was there for her final resting. The grand children sang another song, a few memories were shared and I dedicated the grave. Sue and Steve played the alp horns; someone asked if they ever lowered the casket while family was still present. Yes, but rarely. But they lowered the casket and the grandchildren enjoyed taking flowers from the casket spray and throwing them on top of the casket.

Then back to the chapel for dinner provided by the Relief Society. Then back to the house for visiting. Savannah and Sarah got all the women to the bedroom where the ladies went through Sandy's clothes. A lot of fun was had by all and everyone came away with some item of Sandy's.

Five of Sandy's nieces/nephews traveled to be at the funeral and it was great to visit with them, even for a short time: Sarah English, Robert, Catherine, Cyrus (whose wife had a baby the same day that Sandy passed on), and Ben all the way from CA. Thank you for coming.

We took over the church building on Sunday. We watched conference in the RS room and ate lunch and dinner in the cultural hall. Here are some photos that capture those moments.

And note the grouping of the families during the meals:

One project that Sandy wanted completed was landscaping in the front gardens. It didn't happen in her life time, but it was completed this past Monday and looks so much better.

This week I have tried to stay busy scanning family photos; organizing the photos we already have; organizing small corners of the house (what am I suppose to do with feminine hygiene products?); unsubscribing from Sandy's many regular email senders.

We put one of the rent houses on the market early in September and Friday I signed a counter offer. If all goes well, this cash offer will close before the end of the month. Not the price Sandy would have accepted (sorry), but logic told me to accept it anyway. One down, several more to go.

There is life after the passing of one's spouse. There are okay days, and not so good ones. But I know that Sandy is in a happy place, so why shouldn't I be? My goal is to find joy each day and to be kinder to people. The following is a quote from Neal A. Maxwell:
"A mortal life may need to be 'shortened' by twenty years as we might view it - but if so, it may be done in order for special services to be rendered by that individual in the spirit world, services that will benefit thousands of new neighbors."


Have a great week.